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Raising Children Who Think for Themselves

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Raising Children Who Think for Themselves offers a new approach to parenting that has the power to reverse the trend of external direction in our children and help parents bring up empathetic, self-confident, moral, independent thinkers. Children who are externally directed make decisions based on the peer groups, violent movies, sexually explicit television shows, and Raising Children Who Think for Themselves offers a new approach to parenting that has the power to reverse the trend of external direction in our children and help parents bring up empathetic, self-confident, moral, independent thinkers. Children who are externally directed make decisions based on the peer groups, violent movies, sexually explicit television shows, and rap lyrics that permeate their lives. When children are self-directed, on the other hand, they use their power of reason like a sword to cut through the jungle of external influences. Fortunately, the author shows us, it is never too late to foster in our children the ability to weigh options, consider sources, and think for themselves. Filled with real-life examples, humorous anecdotes, and countless interviews with parents, children, and teachers, Raising Children Who Think for Themselves Identifies the five essential qualities of self-directed children Outlines the seven strategies necessary for parents to develop these qualities in their children Addresses nearly one hundred child-raising challenges—from body piercing to whining wars—and offers solutions to help encourage self-direction


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Raising Children Who Think for Themselves offers a new approach to parenting that has the power to reverse the trend of external direction in our children and help parents bring up empathetic, self-confident, moral, independent thinkers. Children who are externally directed make decisions based on the peer groups, violent movies, sexually explicit television shows, and Raising Children Who Think for Themselves offers a new approach to parenting that has the power to reverse the trend of external direction in our children and help parents bring up empathetic, self-confident, moral, independent thinkers. Children who are externally directed make decisions based on the peer groups, violent movies, sexually explicit television shows, and rap lyrics that permeate their lives. When children are self-directed, on the other hand, they use their power of reason like a sword to cut through the jungle of external influences. Fortunately, the author shows us, it is never too late to foster in our children the ability to weigh options, consider sources, and think for themselves. Filled with real-life examples, humorous anecdotes, and countless interviews with parents, children, and teachers, Raising Children Who Think for Themselves Identifies the five essential qualities of self-directed children Outlines the seven strategies necessary for parents to develop these qualities in their children Addresses nearly one hundred child-raising challenges—from body piercing to whining wars—and offers solutions to help encourage self-direction

30 review for Raising Children Who Think for Themselves

  1. 5 out of 5

    L

    In a large way, the advice in this book is the same as a certain chapter in Nurtureshock: praise a child's actions. I agree with that. I like that it logically follows that the child will become internally motivated and less influenced by external sources. But I didn't feel like any of this information was new. I suppose if I'd read this book before Nurtureshock I'd feel differently. I had a few problems with the book: 1. Family activities involving the use of those ESP cards and activities to enc In a large way, the advice in this book is the same as a certain chapter in Nurtureshock: praise a child's actions. I agree with that. I like that it logically follows that the child will become internally motivated and less influenced by external sources. But I didn't feel like any of this information was new. I suppose if I'd read this book before Nurtureshock I'd feel differently. I had a few problems with the book: 1. Family activities involving the use of those ESP cards and activities to encourage "intuition" is flat-out crazy. 2. Wanting to eliminate competitive games is crazy. There are no "Miss Americas," there is only "Miss America." In the real world we deal with competition and not everyone can win. Way to set your child up for disappointment, Medhus. 3. Not telling your child she's pretty. I have the most beautiful girls in the world, so it's a little difficult not to let it slip when we're cuddling. I very much liked her distinction between discipline and punishment. I think all parents should read that. There's some great advice tucked away in these pages but I don't know how practical it is to rationalize with my 3-year old by giving her a series of questions to answer. Three and a half stars.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Mary

    It is so hard to raise kids to think for themselves and trust their own judgement instead of our culture. This book is for anybody who is a parent, plans on being a parent, or who wonders why they let external factors or other people influence their decisions. Lots of tips and specific phrases to use instead of the standard parent babble we all know and grew up with.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Sarah

    Despite not having any children of my own I felt this book had a lot to contribute. It revealed some interesting things about human interaction in general that anyone could benefit from. I will definitely pull it off the shelves again if I am ever raising children.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Tiffany Buckendahl

    It's hard to be a parent these days. This book helps parents think deeply about what they want their children to become. It also offers behavioral strategies that are applicable to any age. It's hard to be a parent these days. This book helps parents think deeply about what they want their children to become. It also offers behavioral strategies that are applicable to any age.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Alice

    A great handbook for ALL parents! A must read if you want to avoid common mistakes our parents made. I am really learning a lot from this one.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Catherine

    I enjoyed this book and recommend it to help parents create an internal dialogue for their children.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Denise

    outstanding for parenting

  8. 4 out of 5

    Bridget

    This was excellent. If only I implemented everything I learned in here, I'd be the perfect parent. This was excellent. If only I implemented everything I learned in here, I'd be the perfect parent.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Kathy Erskine

    Yes, yes, yes!

  10. 5 out of 5

    Heather

    A great book to keep for reference.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Julia Baker

    I like the references given to guiding children to be more self-directed by practicing internal dialogue rather then external dialogue. If we can parent in a way that our children can think for themselves, our children can avoid some of the many external pitfalls that society places on them. I didn’t agree with some of her personal opinions about global warming and littering and thought they were premature at best and weren’t based on facts. I think she was playing devil’s advocate on some point I like the references given to guiding children to be more self-directed by practicing internal dialogue rather then external dialogue. If we can parent in a way that our children can think for themselves, our children can avoid some of the many external pitfalls that society places on them. I didn’t agree with some of her personal opinions about global warming and littering and thought they were premature at best and weren’t based on facts. I think she was playing devil’s advocate on some points of discipline to give us wiggle room to pick our battles fairly, as our children aren’t expected to be perfect when they are learning as much as their maturity and intelligence allows them to do for their age. I do believe it is important to guide children rather then control their behaviors so they are capable of learning from their mistakes and eventually thinking for themselves.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Kristina

    Outstanding parenting book. Instead of raising children who are externally directed (by what other people think, by the media, by conforming to social peer pressures like drinking, smoking, drugs, etc), Dr. Medhus is an expert at showing you how to easily incorporate small changes that will revolutionize your parenting skills and create an environment that allows your child to blossom. A bit heavier than her later books, but still a classic that any parent MUST have on their shelves. This is rig Outstanding parenting book. Instead of raising children who are externally directed (by what other people think, by the media, by conforming to social peer pressures like drinking, smoking, drugs, etc), Dr. Medhus is an expert at showing you how to easily incorporate small changes that will revolutionize your parenting skills and create an environment that allows your child to blossom. A bit heavier than her later books, but still a classic that any parent MUST have on their shelves. This is right up there with "What to Expect When You're Expecting". And Dr. Medhus I believe even authored an award-winning parenting/pregnancy software back in the 90s called "Ready-Set-Grow!" if anyone remembers that...she's a genius.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Sheri

    Perhaps I just had really amazing parents, but I didn't find this book to be especially novel. Essentially the author cautions parents not to criticize and compare their children, but to instill strong morals/values and confidence in their children so that kids grow up knowing what is right and having the gumption to actually follow their conscience even in difficult situations. The second half of this work is intended as reference for a broad range of situations, guiding parents to consider mot Perhaps I just had really amazing parents, but I didn't find this book to be especially novel. Essentially the author cautions parents not to criticize and compare their children, but to instill strong morals/values and confidence in their children so that kids grow up knowing what is right and having the gumption to actually follow their conscience even in difficult situations. The second half of this work is intended as reference for a broad range of situations, guiding parents to consider motives of children acting out in various ways and presenting guidelines for consequences and correction. Since the concepts are the same, the precise applications ended up being rather repetitive.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Eliot

    Useful book about the importance of helping kids develop internal direction and motivation. Also covers the negative side effects of good intentioned parenting such as helicoptering, dictating and ill conceived reward systems. Plenty of actionable advice and "do's" and "don'ts" although, in my own experience, some of the tactics are not entirely easy to apply because of my ingrained habits as a parent. That said much of it is about the way you speak to your kids and it all makes sense - I would Useful book about the importance of helping kids develop internal direction and motivation. Also covers the negative side effects of good intentioned parenting such as helicoptering, dictating and ill conceived reward systems. Plenty of actionable advice and "do's" and "don'ts" although, in my own experience, some of the tactics are not entirely easy to apply because of my ingrained habits as a parent. That said much of it is about the way you speak to your kids and it all makes sense - I would recommend this book to parents of young kids and preteens.

  15. 5 out of 5

    NTE

    Made me really think about how I interact with the children in my life. Wrote about it on my blog , if you're interested. Made me really think about how I interact with the children in my life. Wrote about it on my blog , if you're interested.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Wynne

    Intriguingly, seems to suggest to parents how to raise children in a manner that the author considers ideal, rather than how parents and children can think for themselves. I was disappointed with much of it for this reason.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Dawn

    Honestly I did not finish this book. I did agree with some of it, but the author was really writing to traditional life style parents. I could not keep relating to her examples of school and what she assumed to be everyone's life. Honestly I did not finish this book. I did agree with some of it, but the author was really writing to traditional life style parents. I could not keep relating to her examples of school and what she assumed to be everyone's life.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Camille Kanofsky

    A little long winded, and like any parenting book, I am not on the wagon with everything. The middle and end have some very useful questions for starting cinversations with kids. there are also many useful examples in the back. These practical things are the nuggets in this book for me.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Maryann

    I would recommend this book - it has some great advice!

  20. 4 out of 5

    Laura

    Great information regarding brain development and change. Good techniques and advice for maintaining love and respect with your children.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Linsey

    I'm still trying. I'm still trying.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Vjmaholtra

    Namanya juga belajar... punya anak...??? Aduh, pusing deh..

  23. 5 out of 5

    Robin Dilks

  24. 5 out of 5

    Michael Goldfield

  25. 4 out of 5

    ANNA MAY L. GAKO

  26. 5 out of 5

    Erin

  27. 5 out of 5

    Rebecca Kunkel

  28. 4 out of 5

    Timanthony Demarco Montinez Oliver

  29. 5 out of 5

    Louie

  30. 5 out of 5

    Christelle

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