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The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children: Parenting from the Heart

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The twentieth anniversary edition of the classic parenting book, now updated to reflect Steven Vannoy’s two decades of experience helping both families and businesses better care for their children and employees. For more than twenty years, The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children has been helping parents to put the joy back into parenting. Steven Vannoy’s unique parenting The twentieth anniversary edition of the classic parenting book, now updated to reflect Steven Vannoy’s two decades of experience helping both families and businesses better care for their children and employees. For more than twenty years, The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children has been helping parents to put the joy back into parenting. Steven Vannoy’s unique parenting style is designed to create a harmonious family atmosphere with self-esteem, compassion, balance, humor, communication, integrity, responsibility, conscious choice, and full expression of emotions. And parents are not the only ones who have benefitted from Vannoy’s wisdom: in the years since the book was first published, Vannoy has used the principles in this book to help businesses worldwide create healthier and more fulfilling workplaces. With updated principles and a new foreword by the author, this twentieth anniversary edition will help both new and old readers of The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children build better relationships with their children and colleagues both in the office and at home.


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The twentieth anniversary edition of the classic parenting book, now updated to reflect Steven Vannoy’s two decades of experience helping both families and businesses better care for their children and employees. For more than twenty years, The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children has been helping parents to put the joy back into parenting. Steven Vannoy’s unique parenting The twentieth anniversary edition of the classic parenting book, now updated to reflect Steven Vannoy’s two decades of experience helping both families and businesses better care for their children and employees. For more than twenty years, The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children has been helping parents to put the joy back into parenting. Steven Vannoy’s unique parenting style is designed to create a harmonious family atmosphere with self-esteem, compassion, balance, humor, communication, integrity, responsibility, conscious choice, and full expression of emotions. And parents are not the only ones who have benefitted from Vannoy’s wisdom: in the years since the book was first published, Vannoy has used the principles in this book to help businesses worldwide create healthier and more fulfilling workplaces. With updated principles and a new foreword by the author, this twentieth anniversary edition will help both new and old readers of The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children build better relationships with their children and colleagues both in the office and at home.

30 review for The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children: Parenting from the Heart

  1. 5 out of 5

    Moustafa Elmihy

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. One of the most interesting books to read! Every time I open it, I can't close it until I read at least 30 pages! really looking forward to finishing it and applying!

  2. 5 out of 5

    Braxton Lewis

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Exerpts direct from text: But despite my good intentions, I walked around in a fog, simply reacting to situations, never understanding that I had a choice in every reaction I had, every action I tool. "Don't be curious, I'm in charge, your opinion's not important, stifle your energy, don't think, I'm not interested in what you have to say. You’re a bad kid" I'm glad your curious. I value your opinion and ideas. Think creatively. Let's figure out how to find an answer. Your're a good kid." A lot of f Exerpts direct from text: But despite my good intentions, I walked around in a fog, simply reacting to situations, never understanding that I had a choice in every reaction I had, every action I tool. "Don't be curious, I'm in charge, your opinion's not important, stifle your energy, don't think, I'm not interested in what you have to say. You’re a bad kid" I'm glad your curious. I value your opinion and ideas. Think creatively. Let's figure out how to find an answer. Your're a good kid." A lot of families I know, including my own for many years, steer their lives the way these drives do their cars--by staring in the rearview mirror! We only have a certain amount of energy, time, and potential to use each day. Of the 100 percent we have, only we can choose where to focus it. That kind of thinking would have lowered her self-esteem and diminished her joy and energy, … Research shows that he is actually switching his attention back and forth from one thing to another. We make choices every day. We can focus on what's not working (the left, back side) or we can focus on what's working. Since we can only focus on the one thing at a time and since we go toward what we focus on, where would you rather focus?\ Back Side Questioning: What's Not Working, Problem, What I don't Like about myself, All the reasons we can't get there, What's wrong with where we are? Forward Side Questioning: What's working, Solution, What I like about myself, Results we want to create, What do we have to do to move toward where we want to be? But there was also a predominantly negative focus of "Can you top this?" Of all the things we do together as a family, what do you like best? How does a child develop a sense of self if he or she must conform only to what is "acceptable" to the person or situation his or her family tiptoes around? I always have a choice in what to see and how to react--and that knowledge alone has transformed my life. If you want to get great performance from someone, you don't point out where they're weak or what they did wrong. If you want them to do better, focus on their strengths, and they'll go harder and harder in that direction. Unfortunately, most of us focus not on the good steps as our kids go down the path of life but on every problem they create when they step off the path. but praise must be sincere, it must be for their highest good and not just for your benefit or to manipulate them. It must also be specific, and it shouldn't be overused. Optimism, as our children learn no to stay stuck on what's wrong or what can't be done and instead stay focused on what's working and what can be done. Problem solving, as they learn to look for solutions rather than focus on the problem. Self-esteem, as they focus on what's good about them selves. Lack of defensiveness, as they're not looking for who to blame or why they're a victim. Risk-taking, creativity, and a joyful attitude. What has been the highlight of your day? What was special about that person/event/situation What were the best parts of the concert/movie/etc.? What was it about this that you admired or enjoyed? What do you like best about a teacher, a friend, etc.? What is the value of that trait? What would be the benefit of that action? What are two or three things you are most pleased about? What is the most important/fun/interesting about this? What are you most looking forward to doing tomorrow, next week, on that trip? What do you like best about yourself? There are really only two kinds of messages we can give our children--hurtful ones that belittle or diminish them, or love messages that reinforce their goodness, their talents, and their possibilities. There are so many junctions in our lives where we can choose to react angrily or decide to shit our focus to move forward. The Greek philosopher Socrates knew that asking questions was the most effective way to teach so his students would get it. And retain it. The "old" way of teaching is what I see so many people doing today, which is to tell 'em… and tell 'em… and tell'em some more--and then wonder why they didn't get it. One of the primary differences between leadership and management is commitment versus compliance. Typical management--whether at home or in business--doesn't allow people to think or to take responsibility; it doesn't nurture qualities and values that allow people to have a natural commitment to their work. Transgenerational Style I could do brilliant book reviews as long as no one wanted to know what I actually throughout about the book. In the absence of positive modeling and response at home, our children will find their role models at school, on TV or on the streets. … if they just escalate the uproar enough someone will always come flying in and solve their problems. They're the grown-ups who miss out on career opportunities, who think they're not good enough… They're the parents who can't acknowledge their own or their children's greatness, thus perpetuating the cycle for generations. When you teach through questions rather than telling, they find the world of their own creativity and talent and abilities they might otherwise never have discovered or acknowledged. … they've never learned to manage their own time, make their own decisions, keep a healthy balance of work and play, rest and activity, quiet time and social events. Their self-esteem collapses in their fear of being wrong. What's different here than other places we've been? What do you think people do to have fun here? What could you do to get the bike you want? How could I best support you in getting what you want? Donna refrained from ever "telling" Brian anything, but kept the questions coming when he started to get stuck. And throughout it all, she modeled good communication, good listening, problem solving, and more. A number of recent studies confirm that the m0ost stressed-out workers are those who feel they have no control over the circumstances around them.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Nancy

    I was back on to my shelf of never read books this week! The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children by Steven W. Vannoy was given to me by a family member many years ago. It was a different track than my usual self-help books, dealing with parenting rather than emotional control. The first few chapters made me unsure of the integrity of the book, as it seemed to align with the principles of organized religion which I’m not comfortable with. The further into the book however, he actually dealt with I was back on to my shelf of never read books this week! The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children by Steven W. Vannoy was given to me by a family member many years ago. It was a different track than my usual self-help books, dealing with parenting rather than emotional control. The first few chapters made me unsure of the integrity of the book, as it seemed to align with the principles of organized religion which I’m not comfortable with. The further into the book however, he actually dealt with communication and trusting your child, versus constantly spying on them and questioning them. While some of the “tools” he suggests are common sense to my generation, I think this is a good eye opener to some of the parents who are still following the “do as I say, not as a I do” model. I think there are other books and teaching methods that can teach these methods, but this is a good start. I will keep it on the shelf for in the future when I need a refresher, but I probably would not have bought it on my own.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Josh Billups

    This book applies to much more than parenting. The tools presented can be used for any personal or professional relationship. The examples really do a great job of helping you see how different people have applied them. It’s a book about how to make progress in parenting and not one that is showing some ideal perfect example that is unattainable.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Michelle

    For the most part, I have a difficult time reading parenting books. Sometimes the solutions offered seem overly simple and, while they make sense for the situation presented in that book, applying the principle in everyday life is a different story. In my opinion, this book did offer simple strategies to become a 'better' parent and/or to improve the relationship you have with you child/children. Although they were simple solutions, they did make sense to me and I have already implemented some o For the most part, I have a difficult time reading parenting books. Sometimes the solutions offered seem overly simple and, while they make sense for the situation presented in that book, applying the principle in everyday life is a different story. In my opinion, this book did offer simple strategies to become a 'better' parent and/or to improve the relationship you have with you child/children. Although they were simple solutions, they did make sense to me and I have already implemented some of these strategies. Some of the strategies offered are truely listening without judgement, positive modeling, and focusing on strengths instead of weaknesses to name a few. The author also lists certain important characteristics and how to cultivate them in your children. I believe the most important 'lesson' I learned from reading this book was to not always 'think' for my children, or always tell them what to do in appropriate situations. The author uses the example of returning to the house with muddy shoes and clothing. The author suggests instead asking the children something to the effect of what should we do to not drag the mess inside, hence letting the children think for themselves instead of instructing them what exactly to do. I plan to keep this book handy for reference in the future. It gave me a lot to think about and not only how to guide them during early childhood, but more importantly, how to instill good character to help them be successful adults.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Maria

    This book was recommended by my doctor as the best parenting book she had ever read. I liked it and I thought it made some good points. I think using the Questioning Tool has probably made the biggest difference in our family. The 10 Greatest Gifts has given me some inspiration, but has not changed our lives overnight. I just wish Vannoy went a bit deeper sometimes. He does use a lot of examples, but it always seems like everything works the first time exactly as expected. Well, it hasn't for me, This book was recommended by my doctor as the best parenting book she had ever read. I liked it and I thought it made some good points. I think using the Questioning Tool has probably made the biggest difference in our family. The 10 Greatest Gifts has given me some inspiration, but has not changed our lives overnight. I just wish Vannoy went a bit deeper sometimes. He does use a lot of examples, but it always seems like everything works the first time exactly as expected. Well, it hasn't for me, so I need some more ideas. It would help to have more examples and ideas of what to do when it doesn't work.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Jessie

    I found this book at random while looking for other books from the library. Boy, what a find! This has got to be the best parenting book I have ever read. Not because it gave the many perfect ideas but because its overall message was perfect. Just love your children! I dog eared so many different spots and pages. He gives real life examples and perspective. Basically, he gives ideas for how to teach your children to be responsible and to help you to stop doing all of their thinking for them. I l I found this book at random while looking for other books from the library. Boy, what a find! This has got to be the best parenting book I have ever read. Not because it gave the many perfect ideas but because its overall message was perfect. Just love your children! I dog eared so many different spots and pages. He gives real life examples and perspective. Basically, he gives ideas for how to teach your children to be responsible and to help you to stop doing all of their thinking for them. I love it! Now if I could only implement all the princlples, one step at a time, right?

  8. 4 out of 5

    Marissa

    I read this on recommendation of a family member who read it as part of a leadership training course. This was an interesting read - very approachable with lots of examples and anecdotes throughout. The book is well structured, with each tool and gift broken out into its own chapter. While the primary focus, as indicated by the title, is on parent-child relationships, the author also indicates how the same techniques can be used in other situations, such as in the workplace or at school. Very th I read this on recommendation of a family member who read it as part of a leadership training course. This was an interesting read - very approachable with lots of examples and anecdotes throughout. The book is well structured, with each tool and gift broken out into its own chapter. While the primary focus, as indicated by the title, is on parent-child relationships, the author also indicates how the same techniques can be used in other situations, such as in the workplace or at school. Very thought-provoking.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Aimee Kuelling

    This is one of those books that should be in every parent's collection and read periodically. It was given to me by the hospital when I went in before my son was born. I read it at that time and really enjoyed it, but find something every year that helps me get through the struggles we parents face with loving our incredible yet ever-changing children.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Raven

    I have read this book twice and each time I find something of value. Focusing on what my kids are doing right and reinforcing positive behaviors as opposed to "nagging" or telling them what they are doing wrong has made such a difference in how I parent. It has drastically improved my relationship with my children.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Melissa

    This is a wonderful book about how to lead, rather than manage your children, and how to raise them to think for themselves. If our children can create their own solutions, how can they argue with them? The strategies in this book are full of love and positive energy.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Ary Nilandari

    Buku yang mengubah pola pengasuhanku...selamanya. Namaku tercantum sebagai editor buku ini, pekerjaanku di awal karier sebagai penerjemah dan editor, jelas masih membutuhkan sentuhan Femmy waktu itu...

  13. 5 out of 5

    Anna

    Love this book. Have read it many times. The only reason why I marked 'currently-reading' is because it is a book that I always pick up and read a few pages of here and there. Great thoughts and ideas from a father...

  14. 5 out of 5

    Ary Nilandari

    Changing the way I am as a parent...

  15. 5 out of 5

    Marcia

    Don't read anything into this. I have to read this for a training class i'm going to next week. Apparently colleagues are like children.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Debbie Miller

    Another parenting favorite. Older book but always good advice!

  17. 4 out of 5

    Tammy

    I received this book as part of a corporate training program. Not only good suggestions and tools for parenting but, for interacting with everyone.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Rachel

    I think this is an incredible book to learn methods for raising children but also for ways to improve yourself. A great read for anyone with or without kids.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Kristin

    I love this book. It is a simple approach to loving your children in mindful ways. I read it before having children and it gave me a good foundation. I also read it after and loved it equally!

  20. 5 out of 5

    Jenn

    An excellent book of parenting tools and tips. The book could be half its length so I was able to more or less skim it and get a ton out of it. I highly recommend it.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Mara Sundwall

    This is my favorite parenting book (and I've read a truckload of them). I love that the guy is not a shrink, child expert or rocket scientist. Its real stuff for parents.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Lana

    A good read - written by a man who realized what he could have given his children while working too much and ignoring them. He managed to turn his life around, and is now an inspirational speaker.

  23. 4 out of 5

    Claudette

    This book talks about the basis of love and how to love our children. So next time your child floods the toilet, read this book to understand how to love your child in the face of anger.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Biruhati Syaheed

    Buku hebat tentang psikologi dan pendidikan anak.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Diana

  26. 5 out of 5

    Manami Lepeu

  27. 4 out of 5

    Julie Bee

  28. 5 out of 5

    Suzanned99

  29. 4 out of 5

    Chelsie

  30. 4 out of 5

    Sandra Coburn

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