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Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry: Why Women Lose When They Give In

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Women are admitting promiscuity isn't really getting them what they wanted after all—because as women we always stand to lose so much more than men when we give in. Men love adventure and intrigue while women crave intimacy, romance, and passion. we were created for so much more than a sexual outlet for men, and as women, we want and deserve more than just sexual release fo Women are admitting promiscuity isn't really getting them what they wanted after all—because as women we always stand to lose so much more than men when we give in. Men love adventure and intrigue while women crave intimacy, romance, and passion. we were created for so much more than a sexual outlet for men, and as women, we want and deserve more than just sexual release for ourselves. It's time to restore dignity, honor, strength—and yes, even power—to generations of women, young and old, who are no longer willing to lose.


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Women are admitting promiscuity isn't really getting them what they wanted after all—because as women we always stand to lose so much more than men when we give in. Men love adventure and intrigue while women crave intimacy, romance, and passion. we were created for so much more than a sexual outlet for men, and as women, we want and deserve more than just sexual release fo Women are admitting promiscuity isn't really getting them what they wanted after all—because as women we always stand to lose so much more than men when we give in. Men love adventure and intrigue while women crave intimacy, romance, and passion. we were created for so much more than a sexual outlet for men, and as women, we want and deserve more than just sexual release for ourselves. It's time to restore dignity, honor, strength—and yes, even power—to generations of women, young and old, who are no longer willing to lose.

30 review for Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry: Why Women Lose When They Give In

  1. 4 out of 5

    Rachel Brand

    I just discovered this in the box of books I brought to my hall of residence with me when I moved in last semester. I decided to skim through it and ended up skim reading the whole book this afternoon. I was kind of disappointed in this book. From the back cover, I assumed it would be a straight-forward book with relationship and sex advice for young women, with emphasis on purity. Instead, the book went all over the place - at some points, the message went where I thought it was going but other I just discovered this in the box of books I brought to my hall of residence with me when I moved in last semester. I decided to skim through it and ended up skim reading the whole book this afternoon. I was kind of disappointed in this book. From the back cover, I assumed it would be a straight-forward book with relationship and sex advice for young women, with emphasis on purity. Instead, the book went all over the place - at some points, the message went where I thought it was going but other times the author went off on five page long tangents with stories that were either irrelevant or succeeded in giving evidence of the stereotype that all women are vulnerable and easily pressured and are bad at judging what men want. The overall message of this book seemed to be that all young women just want a man to love them and will throw themselves at the first bozo who looks at them. And because we're so desperate, as soon as they mention sex we're going to go weak at the knees and give in to them purely because they want it. Interestingly, the author didn't seem to address the issue that maybe women are interested in sex too? She seemed to focus far too much on "Don't give in to what men want" and ignored "Don't give in to what YOU want." Also, her comments about men were rather depressing; the stories she recounted could really convince some innocent teenage girl that all men are going to use you for sex and then leave once they've got what they wanted. Shockingly, I'm eighteen and have a boyfriend and my boyfriend actually likes buying me presents, cooking me food when I'm ill, meeting my parents and so on. The authors talks about how women crave intimacy and romance - I just want to confirm that, yes, men do too. Sure, there are some men out there who do just use women for sex. But trust me, I've witnessed plenty of girls in my first year of university who do just the same. All in all, some of this book was useful. Her stories were sometimes entertaining and enlightening, and there were a lot of scriptures in here. But I really felt that she just cemented the stereotype that women = innocent creatures that know nothing about the world and are vulnerable to men and just going to give in to them, and men = heartless jerks who will have sex with you and leave. I really wish that she's focused more on the ideas of building healthy relationships, being confident and mature before giving your heart away to someone, etc. Because honestly, the message I got from this book was "Be pure because he'll just run away after you give it up." I'm quite glad I didn't read this when I was younger because it probably would have made me scared of men. This book had potential but unfortunately took the wrong approach. 4/10 Oooh, just remembered - there was also a lot of emphasis on people having sex when they were drunk. I know the drinking culture amongst young people is pretty awful right now, but I did get the impression that the author assumed that young women wouldn't have sex unless a) they were drunk or b) they were pressured into it. I would have found it interesting to read stories about people who had been in loving relationships and had sex before they were married and then later regretted it - rather than being coerced into it through alcohol or a pressuring boyfriend. These people are going to struggle with the issue of staying pure and be more likely to go and read a book on it than those who spontaneously lose their virginity while drunk.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Marilena Reutzel

    I don't know what to say about this book besides the fact that I found it to be unfairly sexist. It implies that all men are sex-hungry, heartless creatures who will take what they want (as if women don't want sex too?) and leave. Women are also portrayed as vulnerable, gullible, and apparently possessing no ability to judge a potential romantic partner properly. This book grossly oversimplifies relationships, acting as if men are the only ones who crave excitement, and women are the only ones w I don't know what to say about this book besides the fact that I found it to be unfairly sexist. It implies that all men are sex-hungry, heartless creatures who will take what they want (as if women don't want sex too?) and leave. Women are also portrayed as vulnerable, gullible, and apparently possessing no ability to judge a potential romantic partner properly. This book grossly oversimplifies relationships, acting as if men are the only ones who crave excitement, and women are the only ones who want love and romance. I'm sure the author would be shocked to find out that men exist who want a loving relationship and perhaps also consider sex to be special. I think an author who has no real understanding of people should not be considered any sort of authority on love or relationships.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Emily

    I could write a really long philosophical review of all the things that were wrong with this book, but I will keep it short and simple. It was a terrible book-- full of gross generalizations, oversimplifications, platitudes, and stereotypes. I can't even get started on all of the Disney Princess references and how women are in need of being rescued. I feel badly even donating it to my local library. I could write a really long philosophical review of all the things that were wrong with this book, but I will keep it short and simple. It was a terrible book-- full of gross generalizations, oversimplifications, platitudes, and stereotypes. I can't even get started on all of the Disney Princess references and how women are in need of being rescued. I feel badly even donating it to my local library.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Alyssa Adamczyk

    “How far can I go? It's the question of a generation wanting straight answers. Often the very questions we ask reveal our hearts better than anything else.” In Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry, Lisa Bevere touches on the issues we are faced with whiling being in relationships and all the rules we should take in to consideration. She explains that we need to renew or purity, but in a way that makes us less of a sinner. Throughout the book Lisa talks a lot about her testimony and how being a Chr “How far can I go? It's the question of a generation wanting straight answers. Often the very questions we ask reveal our hearts better than anything else.” In Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry, Lisa Bevere touches on the issues we are faced with whiling being in relationships and all the rules we should take in to consideration. She explains that we need to renew or purity, but in a way that makes us less of a sinner. Throughout the book Lisa talks a lot about her testimony and how being a Christian is what has got her through the hard times that she has been faced with. This was an amazing book, as a young Christian I know I have sinned and been faced with hard times. She also delivers a message that will be able to heal anyone’s mistakes. I love that this book focuses on how we have treated sex and relationships in our past and how to get reconnected with ourselves and God. I strongly encourage mothers and daughters to read this book; it is defiantly a great way to bring families together. If you have ever struggled from relationship problems or struggling now, then this is the book for you. I hope you enjoy this book as much as I did.:)

  5. 4 out of 5

    Amber

    Was re-reading as part of a library clean out and I couldn't even get past the first chapter. This is rife with shaming women for questioning things about their sexuality, mentions sexual abuse as an afterthought after said blunt and downright abusive shaming, and placing the focus of a developing woman's sexuality exclusively on male figures (God the Father, earthly fathers, eventual husbands) rather than on productive female figures (Mother Mary, Sophia (the spirit of Wisdom), the Holy Spirit, Was re-reading as part of a library clean out and I couldn't even get past the first chapter. This is rife with shaming women for questioning things about their sexuality, mentions sexual abuse as an afterthought after said blunt and downright abusive shaming, and placing the focus of a developing woman's sexuality exclusively on male figures (God the Father, earthly fathers, eventual husbands) rather than on productive female figures (Mother Mary, Sophia (the spirit of Wisdom), the Holy Spirit, the Mother Church, their own earthly mothers, their own bodies). Something that explains how much I hated myself growing up (as an asexual woman who was sexually abused multiple times in multiple ways). This is not the way God asks the women He created to love themselves, and to love the bodies He gave them. I am in no way part of the 'sex-positive' movement, as I too believe that the oversexualization of our culture has led to horrid abuses of some of our society's most vulnerable, but this is not the way to address it- with fear-mongering, threats, and shame.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Alyssa

    Well, THAT was a trip. Purity culture makes me stabby and this book covered nearly every element of why that is. Detail is unnecessary here, but it went ABOVE AND BEYOND. Soul ties. I tune out the moment those get mentioned, and that line got crossed about halfway through the book. I am usually pretty chill about Traditional Gender Roles but this lady couldn't have been less subtle about that if she'd tried. (Also helloooo unnecessary absolutism.) Oh, and some INTERESTING thoughts about sex. And by Well, THAT was a trip. Purity culture makes me stabby and this book covered nearly every element of why that is. Detail is unnecessary here, but it went ABOVE AND BEYOND. Soul ties. I tune out the moment those get mentioned, and that line got crossed about halfway through the book. I am usually pretty chill about Traditional Gender Roles but this lady couldn't have been less subtle about that if she'd tried. (Also helloooo unnecessary absolutism.) Oh, and some INTERESTING thoughts about sex. And by interesting, I mean kinda scary. Definitely an adventure, but in the same way that blatantly terrible 80s movies are an adventure and without the redeeming quality of really bad special effects.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Chelsea DeVries

    This was the perfect thing to read since I've been struggling in the area of purity lately. Yet, because of this book, I realized a bragging tale full of empty details of all that was given in that heated moment of passion are in fact the same emptiness that remains in result and won't bring back what was lost. I found there is a Prince that passionately pursues me in my purity every day and his everlasting love for me both broke my heart and healed it. Thank you Jesus and thank you Lisa for rem This was the perfect thing to read since I've been struggling in the area of purity lately. Yet, because of this book, I realized a bragging tale full of empty details of all that was given in that heated moment of passion are in fact the same emptiness that remains in result and won't bring back what was lost. I found there is a Prince that passionately pursues me in my purity every day and his everlasting love for me both broke my heart and healed it. Thank you Jesus and thank you Lisa for reminding girls of today's world realize how much they are valued.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Kelly

    Love love LOVE Lisa Bevere! She tells it like it is, with just a little sugar coating! A lovely and compassionate lady. I would recommend any of her books / dvds to anyone.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Jameelya Zakaeifar

    A must read ! I wish I would have had this book to read when I was a teenage girl, trying to fit in at school. Even now as a mother of five children this book has helped me heal from past mistakes.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Lydia Loh

    Helpful to point girls' hearts to Jesus in the midst of romantic heartache Helpful to point girls' hearts to Jesus in the midst of romantic heartache

  11. 4 out of 5

    Trish R.

    I got a few things out of it personally but I don’t like the style of writing, and undertones of self help and word of faith movement

  12. 4 out of 5

    Dumlesi Ndam

    Quite the find.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Elishua

    I have enjoyed every other book I have read by Lisa Bevere, but I disagree with some of her points in this book. While I agreed with the overall message, I am also tired of hearing how girls have to rely on their fathers as their protectors while dating when we should be empowering young women to have the confidence and the willingness to walk away from uncomfortable situations. We should also be teaching boys that is not acceptable to put girls in those situations. Bevere also writes some of th I have enjoyed every other book I have read by Lisa Bevere, but I disagree with some of her points in this book. While I agreed with the overall message, I am also tired of hearing how girls have to rely on their fathers as their protectors while dating when we should be empowering young women to have the confidence and the willingness to walk away from uncomfortable situations. We should also be teaching boys that is not acceptable to put girls in those situations. Bevere also writes some of the same things we always hear about men's temptations being women's responsibilities and that women should dress accordingly. I do agree that a woman who wants to be taken serious and not labeled as easy should not dress as if she is so; however, it is still not a woman's responsibility to control testosterone. What could have otherwise been a very powerful testimony to the importance of purity (something I believe to be overlooked in the Church today) was overshadowed with this touch of sexism.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Tiffany

    Lisa Bevere has an amazing testimony of her conversion to Christianity. She has a desire to see women fully healed and delivered from their past mistakes. This book focuses on how we have treated sex and relationships in the past and how to be restored through Jesus for our futures. She does not hold back and takes a firm stance on the purity we must pursue daily in our mind, body, and spirit. If this is a source of devastation for you, read this book!

  15. 5 out of 5

    Ken

    Now what is a Jewish man doing reading a book by a born-again Christian writing to an intended audience of young women? Well, learning about how other people see the world, I guess. I was drawn to the book because I wanted to see her take on relationship purity. While some of the passages in the book are inconsistent with my worldview (like say, condemning homosexuality), overall I think there was a great deal of thought-provoking insight in the book.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Sarabeara

    This book is a necessitous read for every woman, whether you are young or old. Lisa has brought out some deep wisdom in regards to being a woman which ties in so well with her books Fight Like A Girl And Nurture. If you struggle with any sexual temptation, or need answers on how far is too far? How to be a woman of dignity and integrity honouring God and yourself as well as your husband/husband to be.. this is the book to read :)

  17. 4 out of 5

    Russelyn Williams

    The first time I heard this woman speak, she inspired me greatly. I remember at 17 years old watching an interview with her on LifeToday. I thought to myself, I wish I had the wisdom in this book at a younger age, but that is okay. God's grace is sufficient for us. Must read for every female. She and her husband John Bevere are my favorite authors and two of my favorite teachers in the body of Christ. The first time I heard this woman speak, she inspired me greatly. I remember at 17 years old watching an interview with her on LifeToday. I thought to myself, I wish I had the wisdom in this book at a younger age, but that is okay. God's grace is sufficient for us. Must read for every female. She and her husband John Bevere are my favorite authors and two of my favorite teachers in the body of Christ.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Crystal

    I read this book years ago as a Christian mentor had given it to me. At that time, I felt like I had to run every single thought, motive, action, and so on, through the Christian lens. It dictated the way I lived and thought. Nothing inherently wrong with that. However, I don't know if I'd enjoy it the same today. Nevertheless, it is a good read for Christian women overall. I read this book years ago as a Christian mentor had given it to me. At that time, I felt like I had to run every single thought, motive, action, and so on, through the Christian lens. It dictated the way I lived and thought. Nothing inherently wrong with that. However, I don't know if I'd enjoy it the same today. Nevertheless, it is a good read for Christian women overall.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Gretchen

    Lisa Bevere very honestly examines issues of women's purity and helps lead women through healing from the past. I would especially recommend for young (or any age)women who have experienced assaults to their sexual purity in any way. Lisa Bevere very honestly examines issues of women's purity and helps lead women through healing from the past. I would especially recommend for young (or any age)women who have experienced assaults to their sexual purity in any way.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Risper Wangari

    What an amazing book! What an amazing book! A great read! Thank you Lisa for sharing your heart so freely and openly! A great point of view from what the culture s Aust has..

  21. 5 out of 5

    Ashley

    This book is an honest and hard read on women's purity. It's a book I'd recommend to women in their 20s...who are seeking a fresh start from poor past decisions. Excellent BIble study, too. This book is an honest and hard read on women's purity. It's a book I'd recommend to women in their 20s...who are seeking a fresh start from poor past decisions. Excellent BIble study, too.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Kelita

    can we say true! very good book to read, hard but worth it

  23. 5 out of 5

    Tammy

    All moms need to read this!

  24. 5 out of 5

    Samantha Newby

    it was good if you want to know what God thinks about sex and women

  25. 5 out of 5

    Amber (rebmav)

    I think this book is a must-read for women of all ages. It has an inspiring message for girls that want to save sex for marriage and those who haven't, but want to change their course. I think this book is a must-read for women of all ages. It has an inspiring message for girls that want to save sex for marriage and those who haven't, but want to change their course.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Laura

    Great book. Lisa Bevere is great at sharing her past and how she overcame it and encouraging the readers to do the same.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Frances

    Interesting, inspirational makes you look at your life differently but found parts of it hard going.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Anna Sirmeyer

    A fantastic reflection of the inner battle every young woman must fight. This is a fantastic book for mothers and daughters to read together!

  29. 5 out of 5

    Janet

    Great book to share with teenaged girls about sexuality.

  30. 4 out of 5

    Samantha & Luke

    The way Lisa tackles the topics in this book is remarkable, as is her testimony. Highly recommended.

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