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Paper Cuts

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Getting the work/life balance correct is tricky when you're employed by Death. Dave Marwood is starting to realise that relationships are a lot easier when they don't involve the undead. Caught between the demands of the afterlife and spending time with his new girlfriend, he tries to find the answers to some difficult questions. Where are the other Horsemen of the Apocaly Getting the work/life balance correct is tricky when you're employed by Death. Dave Marwood is starting to realise that relationships are a lot easier when they don't involve the undead. Caught between the demands of the afterlife and spending time with his new girlfriend, he tries to find the answers to some difficult questions. Where are the other Horsemen of the Apocalypse? What terrible secret lies at the heart of UberSystems International? Is cake the solution to world peace? Paper Cuts is the second part of a three novella series that tells the story of Death and his office staff protecting humanity from ghosts, zombies, vampires and medium-sized apocalypses. After a nice cup of tea and a biscuit.


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Getting the work/life balance correct is tricky when you're employed by Death. Dave Marwood is starting to realise that relationships are a lot easier when they don't involve the undead. Caught between the demands of the afterlife and spending time with his new girlfriend, he tries to find the answers to some difficult questions. Where are the other Horsemen of the Apocaly Getting the work/life balance correct is tricky when you're employed by Death. Dave Marwood is starting to realise that relationships are a lot easier when they don't involve the undead. Caught between the demands of the afterlife and spending time with his new girlfriend, he tries to find the answers to some difficult questions. Where are the other Horsemen of the Apocalypse? What terrible secret lies at the heart of UberSystems International? Is cake the solution to world peace? Paper Cuts is the second part of a three novella series that tells the story of Death and his office staff protecting humanity from ghosts, zombies, vampires and medium-sized apocalypses. After a nice cup of tea and a biscuit.

30 review for Paper Cuts

  1. 5 out of 5

    John Fahy

    It is easy to waffle on about a sequel and how you found one better than the other, so I won't.... I liked it....Hence the fact I've started the third installment.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Kavita Favelle

    Cliched. Didn't grab me. Gave up 25% way in.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Breffni

    I found this book a bit boring and just a tad too silly. I loved the first book in the series, but felt that this one lacked much of the humour that the first book had. I also found Dave's chapters in this just too different from the first book, almost like the author was trying too hard to include various supernatural elements. This book left me feeling that the author hadn't fully planned a sequel to the first book, and had to focus too much on a storyline when he began writing this one, hence I found this book a bit boring and just a tad too silly. I loved the first book in the series, but felt that this one lacked much of the humour that the first book had. I also found Dave's chapters in this just too different from the first book, almost like the author was trying too hard to include various supernatural elements. This book left me feeling that the author hadn't fully planned a sequel to the first book, and had to focus too much on a storyline when he began writing this one, hence the lack of wit and humour that I expected. With that said however, I have downloaded the third book and am eager to start into it! I'm hoping that it is more like the first in the series.

  4. 4 out of 5

    pauline marshall

    Better than the Last!!! The first book was absolutely hilarious, witty and a fun and a unusual idea that I was just amused with everything that I was reading. But when I started reading the second book? I think half way through it began to get really interesting. We learn more about the horsemen, death's past, new supernatural creatures and threats and it has many OMG moments (and for some reason it reminds me of Shaun of the dead... probably because of the British humor + supernatural beings) s Better than the Last!!! The first book was absolutely hilarious, witty and a fun and a unusual idea that I was just amused with everything that I was reading. But when I started reading the second book? I think half way through it began to get really interesting. We learn more about the horsemen, death's past, new supernatural creatures and threats and it has many OMG moments (and for some reason it reminds me of Shaun of the dead... probably because of the British humor + supernatural beings) so yeah...a great book 5/5 there was never a dull moment!!

  5. 4 out of 5

    Carole O'Brien

    Excellent book, second in the series after the first book "How to be dead". this book works so well on many levels, we have vampires, the 4 Horsemen Of the Apocalypse and it is action packed poor Dave has a lot to contend with in this book as well as trying to win back the love of his life which is failing miserably, humor is still involved in this book. A good book to buy very entertaining, gives you laughter along the way, with plenty of action and suspense.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Lily

    You can't change the world with grand gestures. You have to do it in tiny increments. I think the definition of a grown up is someone who orders a hot drink with their McDonald's meal. Death liked the English. He enjoyed the real ale, biscuits and cricket. Any nation that could invent a game that went on for five days and invariably ended in a draw truly grasped the futility of existence. Aliens are real. They show up every few years in their mothership, look down on humanity, go "Nah, they're stil You can't change the world with grand gestures. You have to do it in tiny increments. I think the definition of a grown up is someone who orders a hot drink with their McDonald's meal. Death liked the English. He enjoyed the real ale, biscuits and cricket. Any nation that could invent a game that went on for five days and invariably ended in a draw truly grasped the futility of existence. Aliens are real. They show up every few years in their mothership, look down on humanity, go "Nah, they're still dicks" and bugger off again. The tragedy of life is that everything dies. The blessing of it is that nobody knows when. He wished the world would grasp that fact. Death didn't understand why humanity didn't spend more time and energy on space travel. It wouldn't be exploration. It would be going home.

  7. 4 out of 5

    MarioneTTe

    Smiles and chuckles combined with a healthy dose of action. If you liked the first book, you'll love the second book. It offers the same humor, but with a solid build-up of the story story and a solid dose of action to round it out. Poor Dave realizes just how high the stakes are after he crosses his new boss, and it might just leave him all wet!

  8. 5 out of 5

    Jayne Holmes

    Awesome Funny, imaginative and great plot. Love the writing style and the humour. Great read. Death is hilarious and if only it were true that he comes to pick you up at the end, popping your clogs would be a bit of an adventure!

  9. 5 out of 5

    Sheri Green

    I devoured this book in a day. Loved it. Entertaining, humorous, the only thing I don't really for us the "love story" if that's what you want to call it. But that's pretty much my only complaint. I'm excited to read the next book.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Caroline Abernethy

    Laughed and cried at this I love the witty humour in this series of books. Some of the one liners are very funny, but I had a cry at this one as well. Read it and see, as it's highly entertaining.

  11. 4 out of 5

    The One Tree

    Page Turner No spoilers... Bloody hell! Again! Read this one in two sittings. Not because I wanted too either. I would have read it in one, but I’m mortal and therefore require sleep. Very inconvenient. Book three, here I cometh...

  12. 4 out of 5

    JenBen

    Another entertaining book in the "How to be Dead" series. Lots of humor and action.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Pearl

    Death and vampires? Why Mr Turner you're truly spoiling us!

  14. 4 out of 5

    Rebecca

    Bloody hell that was a plot twist I didn't see coming!

  15. 5 out of 5

    FunkMaster General

    Dead, undead, immortal. Damn life sometimes sucks. & bites. Dead, undead, immortal. Damn life sometimes sucks. & bites.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Larry Newman

    not new taken from How to Be Dead. Was expecting something original. What the hell is this piece of nothing? Never mind.

  17. 5 out of 5

    William McBride

    Very funny book

  18. 4 out of 5

    Karin Jenkins

    A fun sequel to how to be dead

  19. 5 out of 5

    Kate Onyett

    In Paper Cuts, Turner has created a honest-to-goodness monster late-night movie fest. It is action-packed, endearing and written with a light and humorous hand, and I pounded through it with great delight. It might be light and fun, but it is well-written fun. And that, my friends, makes all the difference. It’s the difference between lauded Cult Classic and dismal B Movie Graveyard. This is the second book in the ‘How To Be Dead’ series. In book one, our hero Dave is offered a job by Death. As y In Paper Cuts, Turner has created a honest-to-goodness monster late-night movie fest. It is action-packed, endearing and written with a light and humorous hand, and I pounded through it with great delight. It might be light and fun, but it is well-written fun. And that, my friends, makes all the difference. It’s the difference between lauded Cult Classic and dismal B Movie Graveyard. This is the second book in the ‘How To Be Dead’ series. In book one, our hero Dave is offered a job by Death. As you do. Dave’s unusual ability to sense and lay to rest restless spirits means that he can help the big guy in black sort out errors of judgement that have lead to ghosts walking this world instead of moving on. Now fully employed by Death, Dave is trying to juggle a job with long and weird on-call hours and his new relationship with the girl of his dreams. Unfortunately, after one missed date too many, Melanie gives him the heave-ho, and Dave considers re-entering the world of ‘normal’ work in order to win her back. At the same time, Death’s past is coming back to haunt Him. As one of the Four Horsemen, Death used to hang out with three other rather amazing guys, but as Death’s backstory weaves around present-day action, Satanic mischief and tragedy are revealed. And one of those present-day problems (aside from Dave’s love life) is that there could very well be real undead working at Melanie’s office. Dave has to go in as Death’s mole to determine what the heck is brewing in the overnight shift at UberSystems International (and it is not the coffee). Turner writes like the best of comic fantasy writers; fun, engaging (ticking the box for thoughtful plotting) and with enough cult references to stuff a stocking with. He also writes action really well. The denouement in the office tower block at night comes across as Shaun of the Dead with just a soupcon of Walking Dead. (A-ha! I mislead you, it’s not zombies…) In the tradition of all good shocky-horror films, the survivors suddenly get good at fighting, leading to a jolly good punch-up with home-made anti-undead weaponry. Clichés employed here are also having fun, and so it is entirely forgivable for Turner to make his lead undead devastatingly cool under fire with killer one-liners, and for Dave to save his girlfriend at the last moment by killing the head undead to remove a ‘curse’, and that holy water is very bad news for toothy blighters. Even better is how Dave qualifies to makes it ‘holy’… This is the book equivalent of a night in with a wonderfully campy, bloody film and loads of popcorn to snarf on. With emotional weight adding more depth to the ever-so-familiar horror tropes, Death’s back-story is genuinely moving. And by the end when the Big Bad is revealed, it is a sad thing to see. Death, too, with his love of cake and Billy Joel and his special pocket watch is an endearing version of the final Big Sleep. Refreshing, too, is the pragmatic and, yes, very British reaction to the supernatural by both author and Dave. Granted, by now Dave is used to it, and as a newbie to it, Melanie will need some time to recover. But Turner wastes no time on heavy explanations of the hows and whys of his undead, nor or how things will get covered up the day after (hey, it’s a multinational company- for them that’s par for the course, right?!). We know just enough that we need to know. It’s light, but not a mere frippery. It has a deep sense of heart and it is a LOT of fun and on those merits alone this is a series well worth the checking out. Here’s hoping the next one is not long in coming!

  20. 4 out of 5

    Rabid Readers Reviews

    I do not know Dave Turner. I did not give birth to him or give birth to any of his children. I got his first book as a free download and read it on vacation last year. I preordered Paper Cuts (How To Be Dead Book 2)so that it would appear on my Kindle the moment that the file became available because I just loved How to Be Dead THAT much. So what did I like so much about Paper Cuts (How To Be Dead Book 2)? Marry Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett and their offspring will be Dave Turner. Turner’s fic I do not know Dave Turner. I did not give birth to him or give birth to any of his children. I got his first book as a free download and read it on vacation last year. I preordered Paper Cuts (How To Be Dead Book 2)so that it would appear on my Kindle the moment that the file became available because I just loved How to Be Dead THAT much. So what did I like so much about Paper Cuts (How To Be Dead Book 2)? Marry Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett and their offspring will be Dave Turner. Turner’s fiction is the world underneath ours that the average person simply can’t see. Death occupies an office in a fairly upscale part of town and shares space with monkeys writing on typewriters recently rewarded with a major studio deal. Turner’s clever humor is breathtaking. That Death and his cohorts decide that they’re not going to play the game of a man they’ve never met was intriguing. When the world does seem to be ending, it could be the work of their frenemy, Beelzebub. If you like social commentary presented in a clever package, fantasy or authors like Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams, pick this novel up immediately if not sooner. You will not regret the purchase.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Sarah

    Thoroughly enjoyable sequel to How To Be Dead. Dave is starting to get to grips with his job working for Death, but is now struggling to live his normal life alongside a job in the supernatural world. Especially as he's finally managed to get his dream girl who has no idea what he does for a living. Dave's thread was nicely juxtaposed with flashbacks to Death's past where the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have almost the opposite problem. They kind of like the world and living in it, so they d Thoroughly enjoyable sequel to How To Be Dead. Dave is starting to get to grips with his job working for Death, but is now struggling to live his normal life alongside a job in the supernatural world. Especially as he's finally managed to get his dream girl who has no idea what he does for a living. Dave's thread was nicely juxtaposed with flashbacks to Death's past where the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have almost the opposite problem. They kind of like the world and living in it, so they don't want Armageddon to happen. This leaves them struggling to reconcile their nature with living a quiet life. As you may expect, it doesn't go well for Dave or Death & Co. and much comedy ensues. With his usual quick wit and humour, and just a hint of Pratchett & Gaiman à la Good Omens, Dave Turner provides another fun romp. Oh and if, like me, you're the kind of person who always scans the acknowledgements/dedications, then yes that is my name towards the end of the list as I backed the kickstarter to get the booked published. More than worth every penny!

  22. 4 out of 5

    Catherine

    The second book in the series about Dave Marwood and employer, Death (oh, sorry, I mean Steve) is a very enjoyable (and somewhat bloody) jaunt through the world of office workers and the undead. A fairly normal combination, I'm sure you'll agree. This book put me in mind of Good Omens by Pratchett & Gaimen. Although lacking the knife edge sharpness of that work of genius (this is only Dave Turner's second book, after all), Paper Cuts still contains wonderfully British humour and some quite touch The second book in the series about Dave Marwood and employer, Death (oh, sorry, I mean Steve) is a very enjoyable (and somewhat bloody) jaunt through the world of office workers and the undead. A fairly normal combination, I'm sure you'll agree. This book put me in mind of Good Omens by Pratchett & Gaimen. Although lacking the knife edge sharpness of that work of genius (this is only Dave Turner's second book, after all), Paper Cuts still contains wonderfully British humour and some quite touching scenes too, especially when considering the love life of immortals. Highly recommended, and I'm thoroughly looking forward to the third instalment.

  23. 4 out of 5

    PJ Lea

    Incredibly funny! The second in the series and even funnier than book one. I love the humour and Dave's disaster prone life. He has gone from working drone to gung-ho hero, in a very English way. Death is a bit of a misery, though we find out why with his back story, which is intriguing and quite safe at times. Adventurous, and funny, it brings to mind a cross between Die Hard and Sean of the Dead, but with vampires

  24. 5 out of 5

    Tim

    The sequel to How To Be Dead, in which Dave works for Death helping souls move on from this plane of existence. Unfortunately this didn't grab me as well as the previous. What were funny cliches now seem like tied cliches, especially the whole girlfriend sub-plot. Corporate vampires! At least it was a fast read. The sequel to How To Be Dead, in which Dave works for Death helping souls move on from this plane of existence. Unfortunately this didn't grab me as well as the previous. What were funny cliches now seem like tied cliches, especially the whole girlfriend sub-plot. Corporate vampires! At least it was a fast read.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Matt

    Another enjoyable read by Turner, with a great deal of comedy, some interesting twists and an overall intriguing storyline. I absolutely loved learning more about the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and even more so loved the huge twist ending! Cannot wait for the third book!!

  26. 5 out of 5

    Mary Seelye

    Loved the first one and now the second one. Death's sense of humor cracks me up. I was thrown a bit by the SPOILER ALERT vampires, but they were done so well that it fit right in with the story. I'm excited to see where all of this goes.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Neil

    A good follow up. Dave is getting to grips with the new job. Death has a little back story going on.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Mr A LARGE

    Another good read. Thanks really enjoyed the book. Just as good as the first one. Can't wait for number 3. Keep up the good work.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Zoe Dingwall

    Brilliant. laugh out loud and a great story to boot. What more could you ask for? Just read it!

  30. 4 out of 5

    Steve Nixon

    An excellent follow up to How to be Dead. Looking forward to the end of the trilogy.

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