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Undivided: A Muslim Daughter, Her Christian Mother, Their Path to Peace

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“Mom, I have something I need to tell you…”  They didn’t talk.  Not for ten years.  Not about faith anyway.  Instead, a mother and daughter tiptoed with pain around the deepest gulf in their lives – the daughter’s choice to leave the church, convert to Islam and become a practicing Muslim.  Undivided is a real-time story of healing and understanding with alternating narrati “Mom, I have something I need to tell you…”  They didn’t talk.  Not for ten years.  Not about faith anyway.  Instead, a mother and daughter tiptoed with pain around the deepest gulf in their lives – the daughter’s choice to leave the church, convert to Islam and become a practicing Muslim.  Undivided is a real-time story of healing and understanding with alternating narratives from each as they struggle to learn how to love each other in a whole new way. Although this is certainly a book for mothers and daughters struggling with interfaith tensions , it is equally meaningful for mothers and daughters who feel divided by tensions in general. An important work for parents whose adult children have left the family’s belief system, it will help those same children as they wrestle to better understand their parents. Undivided offers an up close and personal look at the life of an Islamic convert—a young American woman—at a time when attitudes are mixed about Muslims (and Muslim women in particular), but interest in such women is high. For anyone troubled by the broader tensions between Islam and the West, this personal story distills this friction into the context of a family relationship—a journey all the more fascinating. Undivided is a tremendously important book for our time.  Will Patricia be able to fully trust in the Christ who “holds all things together?”  Will Alana find new hope or new understanding as the conversation gets deeper between them?  And can they answer the question that both want desperately to experience, which is “Can we make our torn family whole again?”


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“Mom, I have something I need to tell you…”  They didn’t talk.  Not for ten years.  Not about faith anyway.  Instead, a mother and daughter tiptoed with pain around the deepest gulf in their lives – the daughter’s choice to leave the church, convert to Islam and become a practicing Muslim.  Undivided is a real-time story of healing and understanding with alternating narrati “Mom, I have something I need to tell you…”  They didn’t talk.  Not for ten years.  Not about faith anyway.  Instead, a mother and daughter tiptoed with pain around the deepest gulf in their lives – the daughter’s choice to leave the church, convert to Islam and become a practicing Muslim.  Undivided is a real-time story of healing and understanding with alternating narratives from each as they struggle to learn how to love each other in a whole new way. Although this is certainly a book for mothers and daughters struggling with interfaith tensions , it is equally meaningful for mothers and daughters who feel divided by tensions in general. An important work for parents whose adult children have left the family’s belief system, it will help those same children as they wrestle to better understand their parents. Undivided offers an up close and personal look at the life of an Islamic convert—a young American woman—at a time when attitudes are mixed about Muslims (and Muslim women in particular), but interest in such women is high. For anyone troubled by the broader tensions between Islam and the West, this personal story distills this friction into the context of a family relationship—a journey all the more fascinating. Undivided is a tremendously important book for our time.  Will Patricia be able to fully trust in the Christ who “holds all things together?”  Will Alana find new hope or new understanding as the conversation gets deeper between them?  And can they answer the question that both want desperately to experience, which is “Can we make our torn family whole again?”

30 review for Undivided: A Muslim Daughter, Her Christian Mother, Their Path to Peace

  1. 5 out of 5

    Amber

    I borrowed this book from a friend to read while I was on vacation. It took me a couple of days to finish it, not because it's lengthy or complicated, but because I kept having to put the book down and walk away before I chucked it into a wall - which my friend would not have appreciated. There's no lack of skill in the authors writing styles, but there's a frustrating lack of anything like an actual resolution or understanding between the two women. I expected there to be tension, of course, fro I borrowed this book from a friend to read while I was on vacation. It took me a couple of days to finish it, not because it's lengthy or complicated, but because I kept having to put the book down and walk away before I chucked it into a wall - which my friend would not have appreciated. There's no lack of skill in the authors writing styles, but there's a frustrating lack of anything like an actual resolution or understanding between the two women. I expected there to be tension, of course, from reading the summary of the book, but there was a promise of a coming together, some understanding and healing of the gap in this mother/daughter relationship. If there was any reaching out, it all came from Alana's side. Patricia starts with the attitude of mourning her poor lost and deluded 'ex-Christian Muslim daughter' and never seems to get over it. Admittedly, given the publishing house, this shouldn't have been a surprise. Perhaps it was my fault for expecting a book that actually showed two women of diverse faiths loving and accepting one another for the adult choices that they have made. I suspect that a good part of the clash between these two women is merely an extension of their relationship prior to Alana's conversion. There are several mentions of Alana being the 'rebellious' daughter from both sides of the conversation. And I can't help but wonder if perhaps Patricia wouldn't have been quite so harshly angered by the conversion if it had come from her other daughter. Certainly there still would have been the Christian dismay at the perceived loss of salvation, but maybe it wouldn't have taken them ten years to get to a point where they could talk around religion as opposed to ignoring it entirely. One of the things that irritated me the most, aside from the constant dismissal of Islam as a valid religious choice or the much muttered fear that any misstep even in the conversation between mother and daughter would lead to some nebulous radical imam somewhere issuing a fatwa against Patricia, was the thorough and one must assume willful ignorance of the basic facts of Islam by Patricia. Even accounting for the fact that she and Alana couldn't discuss religion without it turning into a fight, in the age that we live in to be ignorant of Ramadan (for example) takes some doing. You have to be *trying* to avoid knowing at least a little something about Islam and Muslims. Your information might be wrong, but you'd at least have a couple of fact points somewhere in your memory. Possibly this is something that would only bother me, but there is a small line in one of Patricia's sections where she asks why the faith of her family and her ancestors wasn't good enough for Alana. The irony, leaving aside the very explicit argument against following what your fathers have done just because your fathers have done it from the Qur'an, is rich. Didn't Jesus come to divide families? The first converts to Christianity came from Jewish households, where their fathers and their fathers fathers worshiped in the Jewish monotheistic tradition for thousands of years. What if they had refused to follow Jesus because it was not what their forefathers had done? Patricia's sections frustrated me, with the constant refrain of 'why, Jesus, why?' and the way that everything about Alana's faith choice is brought back to how it affects Patricia. Alana's sections were less frustrating, but not enough to save the book for me. I mentioned to my friend that it felt as though they set out to write a book but never actually got around to it, too busy going back and forth. She assures me that the book I read is the book they meant to write, but I have my doubts. All in all, this book left me feeling that nothing had been resolved and that both authors are still very much divided whether it's a slightly smaller divide or not.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Heather

    I received a digital ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. I was really really excited about this book when I first heard about it. "Finally!" I thought. "A real book about a Christian mom and her Muslim convert daughter and how they got past the hurdles of interfaith issues." It is so relevant to me (being the Muslim convert in a family of Christians) and I thought it might have some good tips or show how Patricia was able to resolve her struggles with her daughter ch I received a digital ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. I was really really excited about this book when I first heard about it. "Finally!" I thought. "A real book about a Christian mom and her Muslim convert daughter and how they got past the hurdles of interfaith issues." It is so relevant to me (being the Muslim convert in a family of Christians) and I thought it might have some good tips or show how Patricia was able to resolve her struggles with her daughter choosing another faith. I was wrong. What I found in this book was frustration. I was frustrated at Patricia's rambling, nonsensical way of writing. She jumped from topic to unrelated topic. Maybe I'm just not accustomed to evangelical histrionics, but it seemed like a lot of the drama getting in the way of their relationship (at least in the last few years) actually came from Patricia, not Alana. Allow me to give a few examples: Patricia refers to her daughter as a Christian (rather than a Muslim) throughout the book - as if "Muslim" is "just a phase". She constantly invalidates her daughter's spiritual path by mocking it as a "copy", a "knockoff" of Christianity. She also says multiple times that her daughter "no longer believes", a notion that Alana soundly rejects, stating that she "believe(s) stronger than I ever have in my life. I struggle with the frustration of conveying to her that my walk in Islam has filled my heart with so much faith and love that I no longer feel the empty void that I once felt. Then after she hears this, I wish she could be content and happy for me, that I found a love like no other. A love for God." Patricia describes Islam as her daughter's "defiant choice of faith" (this is a verbatim quote) - as if Alana went to Islam to spite her mother, rather than because she found spiritual fulfillment there. She also consistently links Muslims and Islam with insanity and violence. Example: she says "Muslims get crazy" when Christians say anything about the Qur'an, after stating that the Qur'an doesn't resonate with her (as if that alone is enough to set off a firestorm in response) - although she and her husband also "got crazy" when the veracity of the Bible was questioned. Patricia talks about her fears that her daughter "if...granted a reason and platform to defend her chosen religion, she'll use it as ammunition, to put down her family's faith. Even more, I feared she'd do a good job. That she'd make Islam look good - while I'd fail to life high the Cross. That pressure I feel - to make Jesus and his good deeds and perfect life and extraordinary sacrifice look phenomenal and far better than Islam - weighs me down the most." Ironically, it's Patricia who uses her faith like ammunition, who puts down her daughter's faith. If she is so concerned about making Christianity "look good", then why doesn't she trust God to do the job? Why does she make it her own personal job? Patricia intends to fix the relationship with her daughter - the end goal of that repair being to get her daughter back in Christianity. She dismisses the notion that belief in Islam can be just as deep and satisfying for Alana as she finds in Christianity. In short: Patricia makes Alana's conversion all about herself, rather than about Alana. She takes it personally. She keeps wondering "what did I do wrong?" and moaning and gnashing her teeth and crying, rather than realizing that Alana choosing Islam had NOTHING to do with Patricia in any way. Alana's parts of the book, however, didn't ramble all over the place. She actually addressed the issues at hand in a fairly straight forward manner - why she became a Muslim, what she sees in Islam to this day, her frustrations that her mother refuses to accept that she does, in fact, believe in God - she simply doesn't called Him by the name of "Jesus". Her worries that her mother will try to teach her kids Christianity, after Patricia states that she wants her grandchildren "to know Christ" (although I will give Patricia props when she actually attempts to respect her daughter's wishes and not teach things that are contrary to Islam). The way she feels like she has to walk on eggshells around her mother, like she can't be "too Muslim" around her family. I'd love to quote whole pages of Alana's words - she's open and honest, but without the drama her mother brings. In many cases, as I read Alana's sections, I felt like I was reading dialogue from my own head. Things I've thought, felt, and said. We have many of the same frustrations in dealing with our Christian families (even when those families are, in many cases, nominal in their practice of Christianity, they rarely waste time jumping up on the soapbox to preach to us of how "wrong" we are). In the end, I wasn't convinced that there was any peace, any sort of resolution in their relationship. Patricia has decided to hold her tongue (for now), to grin and bear it, but that's far from peace or acceptance and her thinking about Islam hasn't changed even a bit. This book was an exercise in frustration. If I'd read it in hardcopy, I would likely have thrown the book at the wall. I was going to give a copy of this to my mom, but now that I've read it, I may go with "Daughters of Another Path" (written by a Christian mother after her daughter converted) instead. I wish Alana would have written this book on her own - it would have turned out much better.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Alison

    This was the most frustrating book I've ever read. The title is misleading- they are divided the whole way through. I forced myself to finish and all you really get at the end is a promise to pursue the 'path to peace'. The mother, Patricia, just talks about her charity work all the time and quotes way too many other sources, with randomly interspersed "Jesus"es. She treats her daughter's conversion to Islam as if it is the worst thing to ever happen. She doesn't want her daughter to be happy or This was the most frustrating book I've ever read. The title is misleading- they are divided the whole way through. I forced myself to finish and all you really get at the end is a promise to pursue the 'path to peace'. The mother, Patricia, just talks about her charity work all the time and quotes way too many other sources, with randomly interspersed "Jesus"es. She treats her daughter's conversion to Islam as if it is the worst thing to ever happen. She doesn't want her daughter to be happy or make her own decisions: she wants her daughter to be Christian. End of story. She is selfish and makes her daughter's choice about faith all about herself. The only shift in her thinking occurs when she realizes SHE can't convert Alana back to Christianity, but hopefully Jesus can. The daughter, Alana, is slightly less close-minded but approaches the conflict in the same way- with little actual willingness to change or compromise. I wish Alana's sections contained more about her personal life, which would have really enriched her account. Instead, she goes so far to leave her kids, for example, out of the story that she refers to her youngest child as "the baby" repeatedly. She also never really delves into her decision to convert to Islam (aside from 'God has no partners'), which I would think is a big piece of the puzzle. To sum up, I think this book was published prematurely. I didn't really gain anything except hearing a mother and daughter argue and quote their own scriptures. I was expecting something more enlightening, and was rather disappointed.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Katie

    This book was terrible. As a human being, I try to acknowledge and respect all religious views- I actually picked up this book looking for some insight into the Muslim American way of life. Patricia, the mother- is ridiculous about pushing her Christian faith on her daughter and never actually validates Alana's decision to convert to Islam, saying "she'll find her way back to Christ eventually." Her behavior is childish- whining about not getting presents, etc. I did enjoy reading Alana's sectio This book was terrible. As a human being, I try to acknowledge and respect all religious views- I actually picked up this book looking for some insight into the Muslim American way of life. Patricia, the mother- is ridiculous about pushing her Christian faith on her daughter and never actually validates Alana's decision to convert to Islam, saying "she'll find her way back to Christ eventually." Her behavior is childish- whining about not getting presents, etc. I did enjoy reading Alana's sections, but if she eventually decides to walk away from her mother, I wouldn't blame her!

  5. 5 out of 5

    Barbara

    An incredibly honest and touching story about a mother a daughter, their love for each other and for there religions that threaten to pull them apart. Written by a mother and daughter, their raw emotions and frustrations are on every page, but it's a testament to these strong women that they stay true to their faiths and love each other...unconditionally.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Karen

    This book alternates between Mother and Daughter as they try to find peace between them. In the end, they have a tentative peace between each other and peace with each of their own religions. Both let go of the need to push their beliefs on the other.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Janice

    I was excited to read this book about a Muslim daughter and her Christian mother, and although it was not quite what I expected, I am still glad I read it. These two women, mother and daughter, were not afraid to "let their hair down". I felt like we saw both of them at what I would assume is their worst, at times. In the beginning I felt like the mom, Patricia, was very narrow minded, and judgmental. She emphasized the differences in her beliefs and her daughter's, always finding the Islam of he I was excited to read this book about a Muslim daughter and her Christian mother, and although it was not quite what I expected, I am still glad I read it. These two women, mother and daughter, were not afraid to "let their hair down". I felt like we saw both of them at what I would assume is their worst, at times. In the beginning I felt like the mom, Patricia, was very narrow minded, and judgmental. She emphasized the differences in her beliefs and her daughter's, always finding the Islam of her daughter lacking. She was disrespectful of a different way of practicing one's faith, and of different traditions. I kept thinking, why can't she rejoice at her daughter's strong love of God, her practice of daily prayer, her close family, her being a great parent! But then I started to see that Alana also had a darker side that was revealed; she had been a rebellious teen, and had undertaken this different faith path at least partly due to her mother's strong Christian faith, as another way to establish her independence and perhaps throw it back in her mother's face. But what started as rebellion soon transformed for Alana, it seemed to me, into genuine conviction and belief. As the book neared its end, I felt like Patricia was finally "getting it"; she started expressing a wish to be more accepting, more respectful, and to look for all the positives in her daughter and the life she had created. She started to really listen to Alana, and to reflect more deeply on the love and non-judgmentalism (the dictionary is telling me there is no such word, but you know what I mean) that her own faith teaches. This was a 3 and a half star one for me.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Mae

    This book was amazing! Not only was I educated some on a different religious perspective but I was able to see the struggle between the daughter and the mother and how they started to repair the bridge that was broken between them. It was inspiring and made me really dig deep and think about what was going on in my own mind, my own world, my own family. I went through many different emotions while reading this book, which is uncommon for me. Both writers were so raw with their feelings and their This book was amazing! Not only was I educated some on a different religious perspective but I was able to see the struggle between the daughter and the mother and how they started to repair the bridge that was broken between them. It was inspiring and made me really dig deep and think about what was going on in my own mind, my own world, my own family. I went through many different emotions while reading this book, which is uncommon for me. Both writers were so raw with their feelings and their thoughts. It amazed me how raw they were. I could see how the fear of rejection from both writers, the blinded pride, the anger, the hurt, the pain, and the inability to look at ones self and their actions objectively. I saw how its so easy for us to expect someone to feel or say or think something and it made me open my own eyes to how I have done that. This is a great read! For anyone! Oh and I won this book from good reads giveaway. I would have went and bought this had I known it was this amazing!

  9. 5 out of 5

    Alexandria Osborne

    It was difficult for me to finish this book. I tried but I just gave up. I read about half. I believe that it is difficult for mothers when their daughters' take another path. It is not only a matter of religion. However, I found it painful to read in every chapter Patricia's (the Mom's) quest to accept her daughter's adult decision. It did not seem genuine. Her a daughter's decision is not a failure on her part; yet, she takes it so so personal. Her daughter seems to have grown up to be a carin It was difficult for me to finish this book. I tried but I just gave up. I read about half. I believe that it is difficult for mothers when their daughters' take another path. It is not only a matter of religion. However, I found it painful to read in every chapter Patricia's (the Mom's) quest to accept her daughter's adult decision. It did not seem genuine. Her a daughter's decision is not a failure on her part; yet, she takes it so so personal. Her daughter seems to have grown up to be a caring and responsible mother, wife, and daughter. I understand her disappointment in her religious choice but it seems a little over the top. But it is what she feels so I need to respect that; I just did not enjoy reading it.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Peggy

    This book wasn't what I expected it to be. I wanted a mother communicating the importance of Christianity. I was sure the most important aspect of one's eternal life would be discussed. But this was not an apologetic book. This book was about a mom letting go of the daughter she had fashioned and accepting the woman that little girl had become. I am no longer a mom, I am a mother of grown children.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Brenda Seefeldt

    Great writing Great insight into two world religions. But the best part of this story was the mom learning to let go of her expectations placed on her grown daughter. This is such a real struggle for moms and we can all relate.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Robin Caldwell

    Undivided is a beautiful book. I love the way it is written, and I love its nuances. It's a book for these present times when so much seeks to divide families, friendships, communities.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Naomi Fata

    Loved this book! It gave me a lot of insight into how my non-Christian family might feel about my faith

  14. 5 out of 5

    Aelee

    After reading this book, I don't see where they are any closer to being undivided. I felt that through the whole book the sublime message was my god is better than your god. Maybe what I expected was not their intent. Even the cover bothers me now. I see a mother still praying that her daughter returns to Jesus and I see a daughter who is insistent that her mother is going to accept Islam no matter what. Too drama queens hard at work. Let's be real though, this was never a good relationship, lon After reading this book, I don't see where they are any closer to being undivided. I felt that through the whole book the sublime message was my god is better than your god. Maybe what I expected was not their intent. Even the cover bothers me now. I see a mother still praying that her daughter returns to Jesus and I see a daughter who is insistent that her mother is going to accept Islam no matter what. Too drama queens hard at work. Let's be real though, this was never a good relationship, long before religion came into play. As a child, teen, and young adult their relationship has always been toxic; religion just added more fuel to the fire. Each chapter was more of the same, mother ask a question, daughter jumps down her throat...over defensive. Daughter does something Islamic, mother freaks out. Mother bashes daughter over the head with Scriptures, daughter retaliates with Islamic quotes. And when they wanted to be really mean Patricia (mother) would talk about "Islamic terriorist" which she new that was a anger trigger point for her daughter and Alana (daughter) Would attack the holy trinity. She would enforce that Jesus was just a disciple which she knew set her mother off. Turns out this book was nothing more than a religious war without physical violence or blood shed. The rantings of a mother who feels betrayed and a daughter desperately wanting acceptance without having to reciprocate outside her comfort zone. One thing does confuse me, why does Alana use her maiden name for this book?

  15. 4 out of 5

    Rachel B

    The mother seems to think that because her daughter was raised in a Christian family, that automatically made her a Christian. Even referring to her as "my christian daughter who is a Muslim" which doesn't make any sense. She doesn't recognize that one's family or traditions can't make a person a Christian - only a personal surrender to Jesus as Lord can. The daughter also doesn't understand Christianity, claiming that she "had always been a Christian." She wants her mom to be happy for her tryin The mother seems to think that because her daughter was raised in a Christian family, that automatically made her a Christian. Even referring to her as "my christian daughter who is a Muslim" which doesn't make any sense. She doesn't recognize that one's family or traditions can't make a person a Christian - only a personal surrender to Jesus as Lord can. The daughter also doesn't understand Christianity, claiming that she "had always been a Christian." She wants her mom to be happy for her trying to follow God and finding peace in Islam, not acknowledging that of course her mom can't be happy, because by her own Christian understanding, her daughter is not following the true God. They both take things too personally and have unreasonable expectations of one another. I just wouldn't have reacted the same way in many of the situations they mention and so I couldn't always relate. Some of the writing was a bit too flowery and "writerly" for my taste. Overall, though, it was good to read of other perspectives and get a glimpse into their thought processes. There is some personal growth present in both of their lives as the book goes on.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Debbie

    This could have / should have been a better book because the topic is completely relevant and dicey. I liked the format they used as if both authors shared pages from their journals while mother and daughter worked through their religious differences, striving for a peaceful, close relationship of acceptance. While I appreciate their candor and honesty in allowing the reader to see all the big and little things they struggled mightily with, at points their writing took on a whiney tone as they t This could have / should have been a better book because the topic is completely relevant and dicey. I liked the format they used as if both authors shared pages from their journals while mother and daughter worked through their religious differences, striving for a peaceful, close relationship of acceptance. While I appreciate their candor and honesty in allowing the reader to see all the big and little things they struggled mightily with, at points their writing took on a whiney tone as they took offense at the slightest provocation from one another. I got the sense that their mother-daughter relationship was not all that close before the daughter converted to Islam. Did they find a path to peace and acceptance? Maybe. But it seemed the book deadline was upon them before peace was abiding, and they wrapped things up a bit artificially. The lesson of the book for me is that the path to peace takes much longer than it does to write a book.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Carla

    I was a little disappointed with this book. I had hoped to give it to my mom to read, since we're in the same situation with me converting from Christianity to Islam, but I've changed my mind after reading this. My biggest problem was the mother, who for most of the book put her desire for her daughter to go back to Christianity ahead of her relationship with her. I felt that the mother looked down on her daughter for converting; I couldn't believe that she waited until they decided to write a b I was a little disappointed with this book. I had hoped to give it to my mom to read, since we're in the same situation with me converting from Christianity to Islam, but I've changed my mind after reading this. My biggest problem was the mother, who for most of the book put her desire for her daughter to go back to Christianity ahead of her relationship with her. I felt that the mother looked down on her daughter for converting; I couldn't believe that she waited until they decided to write a book to ask basic questions about her daughter's faith. Another thing I didn't like is that all throughout the book they referred to deadlines of this book. It seemed like the only reason they even tried to come to reconciliation and the only reason the mother came to accept her daughter's faith is because they had to wrap up the book. This made the book seem disingenuous.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Michelle Ule

    This is an interesting book about a mother and daughter trying to reach across the great divide of their religious beliefs to restore their family. Told in alternating sections, we read the Christian mother's anguish as she sorts out how to reach her adult daughter. As a similar mother, my heart raced right alongside Patricia's. Alana's decision to leave behind the family's religion to become a Muslim--and raise her family as Muslim--creates the divide. She tries to show her mother how her religi This is an interesting book about a mother and daughter trying to reach across the great divide of their religious beliefs to restore their family. Told in alternating sections, we read the Christian mother's anguish as she sorts out how to reach her adult daughter. As a similar mother, my heart raced right alongside Patricia's. Alana's decision to leave behind the family's religion to become a Muslim--and raise her family as Muslim--creates the divide. She tries to show her mother how her religious choice is just as valid and real to her as Patricia's. The reader will need to draw their own conclusions, but I appreciated this thoughtful look into a real family's real anguish and how stretching out to one another in love is really the only answer.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Amy Boucher Pye

    A fascinating window into the lives of a mother and daughter on issues of faith. The Christian mother writes out of longing for her daughter to return to the faith of her youth, and the daughter, who has committed to Islam, feels misunderstood by her mother. For ten years they avoided the topic of faith. Through this book they address this contentious issue, promising not to shirk away from it. The path to peace is rocky and hard, and there aren’t any easy answers at the end of the book. I found A fascinating window into the lives of a mother and daughter on issues of faith. The Christian mother writes out of longing for her daughter to return to the faith of her youth, and the daughter, who has committed to Islam, feels misunderstood by her mother. For ten years they avoided the topic of faith. Through this book they address this contentious issue, promising not to shirk away from it. The path to peace is rocky and hard, and there aren’t any easy answers at the end of the book. I found it a moving account of their real-to-life love.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Kari

    I really wanted to like this book more. And I'm still glad I read it. There were parts that were so riveting and touching. But so much of the book felt more like a stream of conscientiousness. It appears they were writing portions back and forth to each other and commenting on them. I like the concept, but I'm not sure it worked. I think a better method might have been to work through their issues and then write a book about how they came to peace.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Michelle

    The idea of a mother and daughter talking through their huge faith differences was very intriguing. Unfortunately, the execution wasn’t as deep or satisfactory as I had hoped. I am sure writing this book was very good for them, but as an outside reader the exchange felt wandering and inconclusive. Still, there were good things to learn about mother daughter relationships and interfaith dialogue.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Barbara

    This book was so good—I’m grateful to people who recommended it. The authors write so candidly about their struggles to find peace as loving family members following 2 different religions that they leave in parts of the process where their own actions caused hurt. Their story is hopeful. They find a way of wisdom leading to peace without betraying or watering down their different beliefs.

  23. 5 out of 5

    DIONNE ROSS

    Wonderful, Inspiring and delightful This book made me laugh and cry! As someone who is studying the Quran and has fears of how family may react this book was a great guide on how to be understand and steadfast in my choice. Thank you soo much for writing this book!

  24. 5 out of 5

    Jenny

    I really wanted more from this book, but it just dragged. There wasn't anything that felt like it gave me a fresh perspective on peacemaking, and I even found myself really frustrated at points.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Karin

    Relationships take time, understanding takes time, acceptance takes time ... I think all that is why it was a slow read. GOOD. But slow.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Constance Chevalier

    Each one was trying to 'poke holes' in the other's religion.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Ashlee

    I believe everyone should read this!!

  28. 5 out of 5

    Aleeda

    Never have I read a less aptly named book. Undivided should be titled Hopelessly Divided. Still. The writers, Patricia Raybon and Alana Raybon, mother and daughter, respectively take this on as a project of understanding, but I find the mother's understanding is more proselytizing rather than looking at the role that Islam plays in her daughter's life. Patricia Raybon repeatedly disrespects a daughter that she has raised to make intelligent choices in belittling an important choice she has made Never have I read a less aptly named book. Undivided should be titled Hopelessly Divided. Still. The writers, Patricia Raybon and Alana Raybon, mother and daughter, respectively take this on as a project of understanding, but I find the mother's understanding is more proselytizing rather than looking at the role that Islam plays in her daughter's life. Patricia Raybon repeatedly disrespects a daughter that she has raised to make intelligent choices in belittling an important choice she has made in her life. Patricia Raybon exhibits a superiority about Christianity over Islam that is unbelievably naive referring to violence perpetrated in the name of Islam, as if Christians and Jews have only ever known peace. By the end of the book, I don't sense that they've made any real progress in understanding, and unfortunately, much of this lies with the mother, who sees her daughter's abandonment of Jesus as her failure. Repeatedly, Alana says 'I don't want controversy....I just want to be heard and respected'...but near the end of the book, you learn that Patricia hasn't even bothered to Google the Islamic holiday of Eid. Their calls are painful to read. I can only imagine how hurtful they were in person. I'll pray that these two find a way to coexist lovingly, not just tolerating one another. If there is no hope for them, there is even less for the world at large.

  29. 5 out of 5

    CHERYL A

    Not a huge fan, too much turmoil...lighten up mom and enjoy your daughter and her family.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Cynthia

    Beautifully written book where two strong, Godly women--mother and daughter-- dialogue their struggle to come to peace with their differences in faith. And though the religious differences were Christianity and Islam, an analogy will hit home for parents and adult children where there is a distinctive, heart-felt difference in beliefs. Even a different Christian affiliation in one's family can create feelings of loss, guilt, blame, fear and anger. These two authors blessed me by sharing their jo Beautifully written book where two strong, Godly women--mother and daughter-- dialogue their struggle to come to peace with their differences in faith. And though the religious differences were Christianity and Islam, an analogy will hit home for parents and adult children where there is a distinctive, heart-felt difference in beliefs. Even a different Christian affiliation in one's family can create feelings of loss, guilt, blame, fear and anger. These two authors blessed me by sharing their journey with gritty authenticity and persevering love. I loved the way each of these women provided details of their day-to-day lives and an ongoing analysis of their individual struggles with self and other. This book is a gem, and like Richard Foster's "Celebration of Discipline" (frequently cited from,a thrill for me) I know in my bones that this book will continue to be a touchstone for me and others.

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