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A Modern Marriage: A Memoir

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In this candid memoir about a marriage that risked everything to emerge stronger than ever, one couple takes us outside the bounds of monogamy and into one of the most fascinating and secretive subcultures in the nation—swinging. With fifteen million strong worldwide, swingers are everywhere—a huge community, hiding in plain sight, whose erotic pastime has remained a comple In this candid memoir about a marriage that risked everything to emerge stronger than ever, one couple takes us outside the bounds of monogamy and into one of the most fascinating and secretive subcultures in the nation—swinging. With fifteen million strong worldwide, swingers are everywhere—a huge community, hiding in plain sight, whose erotic pastime has remained a complete mystery to the rest of us. Christy and Mark Kidd certainly had no idea what they were getting into when at one fateful New Year’s Eve party they decided to venture behind a mysterious velvet curtain and discovered a whole new world of sexuality they never thought possible. The swinging lifestyle still remains largely taboo in our country. The Kidds were just as skeptical when they returned home. Could they ever take their relationship to that level? Would it ruin the strong marriage they had built for five years? How would their very different jealousies come into play? There was only one way to find out, so they decided to embark on the adventure of a lifetime, ultimately ending up in a more trustful and fulfilling relationship than either could have expected. This stirring memoir takes an up-close and often lurid look at a private life that most of us would never entertain. Nonetheless, it’s a life Christy and Mark took seriously—including the same fears and doubts we all imagine would come into play—and emerged with a greater understanding of themselves as well as their unique bond. Deeply honest, A Modern Marriage pulls back the curtain on polyamory and sheds new light on the endless variety of forms and faces, pairings and possibilities found in modern love.


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In this candid memoir about a marriage that risked everything to emerge stronger than ever, one couple takes us outside the bounds of monogamy and into one of the most fascinating and secretive subcultures in the nation—swinging. With fifteen million strong worldwide, swingers are everywhere—a huge community, hiding in plain sight, whose erotic pastime has remained a comple In this candid memoir about a marriage that risked everything to emerge stronger than ever, one couple takes us outside the bounds of monogamy and into one of the most fascinating and secretive subcultures in the nation—swinging. With fifteen million strong worldwide, swingers are everywhere—a huge community, hiding in plain sight, whose erotic pastime has remained a complete mystery to the rest of us. Christy and Mark Kidd certainly had no idea what they were getting into when at one fateful New Year’s Eve party they decided to venture behind a mysterious velvet curtain and discovered a whole new world of sexuality they never thought possible. The swinging lifestyle still remains largely taboo in our country. The Kidds were just as skeptical when they returned home. Could they ever take their relationship to that level? Would it ruin the strong marriage they had built for five years? How would their very different jealousies come into play? There was only one way to find out, so they decided to embark on the adventure of a lifetime, ultimately ending up in a more trustful and fulfilling relationship than either could have expected. This stirring memoir takes an up-close and often lurid look at a private life that most of us would never entertain. Nonetheless, it’s a life Christy and Mark took seriously—including the same fears and doubts we all imagine would come into play—and emerged with a greater understanding of themselves as well as their unique bond. Deeply honest, A Modern Marriage pulls back the curtain on polyamory and sheds new light on the endless variety of forms and faces, pairings and possibilities found in modern love.

30 review for A Modern Marriage: A Memoir

  1. 5 out of 5

    Shelleyrae at Book'd Out

    Recently a friend, after a few drinks, confessed she and her husband were experimenting with 'swinging'. I have to admit I was pretty shocked but as she shared some of what she and her husband had learned about the lifestyle, I was intrigued, not only with the logistics of it, but why and how they made the decision. I didn't want to ask too many questions though - lest they mistake my intellectual curiosity as an angling for an invitation to join them - so when I discovered A Modern Marriage I f Recently a friend, after a few drinks, confessed she and her husband were experimenting with 'swinging'. I have to admit I was pretty shocked but as she shared some of what she and her husband had learned about the lifestyle, I was intrigued, not only with the logistics of it, but why and how they made the decision. I didn't want to ask too many questions though - lest they mistake my intellectual curiosity as an angling for an invitation to join them - so when I discovered A Modern Marriage I felt compelled to pick it up. Written by Christy and Mark Kidd, A Modern Marriage is a memoir of their experiences as a couple who have embraced the swinging lifestyle. They stumbled upon the scene at a New Years Party in New York and were both titillated and curious about what they witnessed. After a lot of discussion, some googling, and the laying down of ground rules, they decided to take the plunge. Christy and Mark experienced several false starts with seedy clubs and unreliable partnerships before finally getting in the swing of things. I think Christy and Mark are quite honest in their telling. They share a little of their backgrounds, both Texas born and raised by mother's who had multiple partners during their childhood (Christy's mother was married 5 times, Mark's mother 4 times). They met, through their work as accountants, when they were both seriously involved with other partners but couldn't resist one another, and by the time they decided to explore swinging had been married for five years. Though Christy and Mark are clearly advocates for the lifestyle they don't entirely gloss over its possible pitfalls, exploring issues such as jealousy, attachment and even the dangers of addiction. They place great emphasis on the need for a strong marriage, honest communication and sensible rules, to partake in the lifestyle without damaging the relationship. A Modern Marriage is sometimes explicit but not really in a pornographic way. The tone is conversational, and encounters are related largely in a matter of fact manner with the focus more on what the couple was thinking rather than feeling. I know the swinging lifestyle is not right for me, for so many reasons, but A Modern Marriage satisfied my curiosity about why some couples make the choice. I'm not convinced it will work out for my friend but it seems it is possible, Mark and Christy have now been married for 14 years and are still swinging. *Please note I choose not to rate memoirs

  2. 5 out of 5

    Brian Sullivan

    A fantastic story about a couple who find themselves. It was funny, engaging and most of all a real love story. Highly reccomend it!!

  3. 4 out of 5

    Erin

    A synopsis of the book...paraphrased by the reader to save you time. The Author: 1) I'm a "swinger" but I hate the term and refer to it as a "lifestyle" throughout most of the book 2) Don't let my Texas roots make you think I'm a prude. I'm not. I'm not ? Oh I'm not! 3) I was raised in a sort of normal family...so was my husband *sarcasm filled with justification after justification* 4) We go to parties and sleep with other people, but I fail to believe the "lifestyle" is all that risky (they use con A synopsis of the book...paraphrased by the reader to save you time. The Author: 1) I'm a "swinger" but I hate the term and refer to it as a "lifestyle" throughout most of the book 2) Don't let my Texas roots make you think I'm a prude. I'm not. I'm not ? Oh I'm not! 3) I was raised in a sort of normal family...so was my husband *sarcasm filled with justification after justification* 4) We go to parties and sleep with other people, but I fail to believe the "lifestyle" is all that risky (they use condoms but perform a lot of other activities as well) 5) I constantly reiterate how strong my marriage is--convincing myself? 6) We definitely did not cause the dissolution of a marriage by interfering with it...nope. Reader: I've read a vast selection of memoirs but I just could not get past the authors constant reiteration of her great marriage and how much the lifestyle has changed her life for the better. It sounded really phony. *shrug* But then, I'm also not a part of the "lifestyle" so what do I know?

  4. 5 out of 5

    Star Man

    Great to read such an honest book about real life relationships! With so many negatives assigned to anything sexual these days, it was refreshing to share Mark and Christy's journey and see how their sexual explorations brought them closer together and strengthened their marriage. Rather than encourage the reader to become a 'swinger', the overriding message here seems to encourage couples to find their own path in life and discover their personal adventure together, as a couple. Great to read such an honest book about real life relationships! With so many negatives assigned to anything sexual these days, it was refreshing to share Mark and Christy's journey and see how their sexual explorations brought them closer together and strengthened their marriage. Rather than encourage the reader to become a 'swinger', the overriding message here seems to encourage couples to find their own path in life and discover their personal adventure together, as a couple.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Ron

    Christy Kidd seems to spend a large part of the book justifying her position in swinging as well as how strong her marriage is. She seems to keep bringing it up as if to convince herself that her marriage is strong. Maybe she feels if she keeps saying it that it will become true. I FIRMLY believe that her and her husband caused the breakup and divorce of the last couple that she mentions in the book. They each spent separate times together with the husband and wife of the divorced couple, And sh Christy Kidd seems to spend a large part of the book justifying her position in swinging as well as how strong her marriage is. She seems to keep bringing it up as if to convince herself that her marriage is strong. Maybe she feels if she keeps saying it that it will become true. I FIRMLY believe that her and her husband caused the breakup and divorce of the last couple that she mentions in the book. They each spent separate times together with the husband and wife of the divorced couple, And she seemed surprised by the breakup and divorce of the couple. She seems to think she had nothing to do with the divorce of the couple despite spending weekends and longer periods with the other couple's husband. What did she think would happen? Does she think her marriage is immune to the same dynamics in reverse? Her justifications in the book are weak and not well thought out. I'm neither a prude nor a regressive thinker. This woman's book I believe is a poor representation of the swinger world. I didn't find her convincing in any respect.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Rachelle (RavenclawRachelle)

    I'm generally not one for memoirs, but the topics and issues this memoir explores intrigued me enough to pick it up. I found this memoir to be quite enjoyable, though it was too short for my taste. I would have appreciated more elaboration on how the experience impacted their day to day life, whether they ever recognized someone on the street etc. I found the author's writing style to be quite immersive, candid and friendly, it left me wanting to know more of the author's experiences. I, also, en I'm generally not one for memoirs, but the topics and issues this memoir explores intrigued me enough to pick it up. I found this memoir to be quite enjoyable, though it was too short for my taste. I would have appreciated more elaboration on how the experience impacted their day to day life, whether they ever recognized someone on the street etc. I found the author's writing style to be quite immersive, candid and friendly, it left me wanting to know more of the author's experiences. I, also, enjoyed watching how their experimentation effected their marriage and how they handled it. I received this book for free from the publisher through Netgalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Lindsay

    I received a copy as a Goodreads First Reads book. I enjoyed reading Christy and Mark's experience with the lifestyle. She has a way of writing as though she was speaking to you and having a conversation which made you as the reader warm up to her while reading about their story. She was very open and honest, and it is a very interesting sort of taboo lifestyle that is intriguing but secret society like it explains on the synopsis on the back. I have always felt you do have to have a very strong I received a copy as a Goodreads First Reads book. I enjoyed reading Christy and Mark's experience with the lifestyle. She has a way of writing as though she was speaking to you and having a conversation which made you as the reader warm up to her while reading about their story. She was very open and honest, and it is a very interesting sort of taboo lifestyle that is intriguing but secret society like it explains on the synopsis on the back. I have always felt you do have to have a very strong relationship with your partner and not be jealous types in order to succeed in such an experience and not let it ruin your relationship because you could see how easily it could have the potential to damage your relationship.

  8. 4 out of 5

    John

    I'm not sure I could say it any better than Star Man did with their review Here. I enjoyed the book and would recommend it to any married couple. This was a wonderful GoodReads win and I will be sure to pay it forward. I'm not sure I could say it any better than Star Man did with their review Here. I enjoyed the book and would recommend it to any married couple. This was a wonderful GoodReads win and I will be sure to pay it forward.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Pam Thomas

    What an eye opened this books is about couples who are swingers and apparently in some circles its part of the norm and sometime can be just what a marriage needs. Its a look at the torrid side of swingers where it either strengthens your relationship or marriage or breaks it. HIGHLY RECOMMEND A MUST READ BOOK

  10. 5 out of 5

    Jeanie

    The Kidds are a remarkable couple. A Modern Marriage is quite candid as it introduces the reader into a world that is not so forbidden anymore. Full of thought provocation, wit, and at times, loss. The book also challenges the audience to question antiquated boundaries and reflect on the meaning of a committed, loving, trusting marriage.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Maritza Valle

    I rarely give a book 1-star, and it's not for the writing. The book is interesting enough, the subject compelling (I'm a relationship anarchist and a Sex Therapist), and the syntax and punctuation well in place. But the author writes in a manner that is rude, fatphobic, judgemental, and steeped in toxic masculinity. I read one-third of the book and just know there are so many better things to read that I'm giving up on this one just to not waste my time wading through more saccharine-sweet "We're I rarely give a book 1-star, and it's not for the writing. The book is interesting enough, the subject compelling (I'm a relationship anarchist and a Sex Therapist), and the syntax and punctuation well in place. But the author writes in a manner that is rude, fatphobic, judgemental, and steeped in toxic masculinity. I read one-third of the book and just know there are so many better things to read that I'm giving up on this one just to not waste my time wading through more saccharine-sweet "We're from Texas" and hate-filled descriptions of bodies the author does not prefer. Get inclusive and read better THERE IS SO MUCH BETTER OUT THERE TO READ.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Tamera Everett

    Such an unexpectedly good read! I stumbled upon this when researching.. it was a fast read, quickly engaging the reader. Good, solid relationship advise and a Do Not Do list that matches our philosophy: Their story could have been ours- almost!

  13. 5 out of 5

    tyrianpurple

    ARC given by the author/publisher via Netgalley, in exchange of an honest review. i just received the approval notification on Nov 19th and i dont know that tomorrow is the archived date. so i wrote this as a preliminary review. my full review would be posted later. what drawn me to this book is, # the marriage life theme, not many books covering this theme. and it is challenging to write one that actually covers all thing necessary in marriage story. # the "outside of bound" monogamy. me myself, is ARC given by the author/publisher via Netgalley, in exchange of an honest review. i just received the approval notification on Nov 19th and i dont know that tomorrow is the archived date. so i wrote this as a preliminary review. my full review would be posted later. what drawn me to this book is, # the marriage life theme, not many books covering this theme. and it is challenging to write one that actually covers all thing necessary in marriage story. # the "outside of bound" monogamy. me myself, is a believer that its no way someone as complex as human being only destined to be with one person for the rest of their life. not that i dont believe in marriage, but seems i have a same notion with the couple that, as long as the relationship still strong and healthy, being not in monogamy train is okay. # cause it told a real life story of swingers, i guess its not for everybody. while we read it in romance novel, anyone could be agree and open-minded. but not usually the case in real life. and the writers are bold enough to share the experience. would like to say thank you tough! we need more entertaining memoirs book like this one. # the part that taken so much attention, how their new lifestyle only bound them tighter and enhanced their relationship to the next level.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Jen

    Swinging can either really help or really rip your marriage apart, and there is no way to predict what swinging will do to your individual marriage, according to Christy Kidd. She's written on a topic so strange and against the norms for most that it's hard to put down for sheer novelty. That being said, it combines topics I enjoy: love, sex, marriage, and social psychology. Kidd tells an interesting tale but is repetitive in telling: it was hot, it made our marriage so strong....on and on. If y Swinging can either really help or really rip your marriage apart, and there is no way to predict what swinging will do to your individual marriage, according to Christy Kidd. She's written on a topic so strange and against the norms for most that it's hard to put down for sheer novelty. That being said, it combines topics I enjoy: love, sex, marriage, and social psychology. Kidd tells an interesting tale but is repetitive in telling: it was hot, it made our marriage so strong....on and on. If you don't mind stepping into the swinger's world in imagination, go for it.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Elliot Chalom

    Well, I can't say it wasn't interesting. Rated R of course (but not NC-17) and in a sweet way. Ultimately a story of a happily married couple who swing, not swingers who happen to be married. I think that's what makes it a decent book. Also the right amount of detail without being too graphic. If the story itself were a little better (it kind of just is what it is - a "this is swinging in NYC" story - no real tension or drama) it would be a better book, but still a fine quick read if you want so Well, I can't say it wasn't interesting. Rated R of course (but not NC-17) and in a sweet way. Ultimately a story of a happily married couple who swing, not swingers who happen to be married. I think that's what makes it a decent book. Also the right amount of detail without being too graphic. If the story itself were a little better (it kind of just is what it is - a "this is swinging in NYC" story - no real tension or drama) it would be a better book, but still a fine quick read if you want something completely unusual without being gross.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Kelly

    A very interesting inside look at the swinger lifestyle and how it affected the Kidds and their marriage. This is written off the cuff, or in very casual language and style. Also this is not an in depth look more a cursory look, but all together I found it interesting and insightful. I enjoyed Christy Kidd's input, opinions and humor. A very interesting inside look at the swinger lifestyle and how it affected the Kidds and their marriage. This is written off the cuff, or in very casual language and style. Also this is not an in depth look more a cursory look, but all together I found it interesting and insightful. I enjoyed Christy Kidd's input, opinions and humor.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Christelle

    Loved going on this great journey through the ups & downs of the NYC sex scene. A beautiful love story & real life adventures! This book had it all - humor, highs & lows, thought-provoking passages, and it was extremely well written; ready for book #2!!

  18. 4 out of 5

    Double L

    A Modern Marriage paints a very vivid picture of the Kidd’s journey through life, love and sex together. They lift the curtain on our basic desires making YOU, the reader, yearning for more! I am in need of a sequel and a Wizard! A must read book!

  19. 4 out of 5

    Julie

    interesting book about one couple's adventures with swinging in NYC . I liked the manner that this was written, and I this book isn't for everyone. interesting book about one couple's adventures with swinging in NYC . I liked the manner that this was written, and I this book isn't for everyone.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Donald Powell

    A plain language explanation of this young couple's experiences. This is a good exposure to the topics covered but still just their experience. A plain language explanation of this young couple's experiences. This is a good exposure to the topics covered but still just their experience.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Lucy

    Shock value included This was not what I expected. This was not a true story of 50 shades. Shock value seems to be the main basis for this book.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Staci Suhy

    i received this book for free as part of a first reads promotion

  23. 4 out of 5

    Kayo

    TMI . I kept telling myself I wouldn't finish it, but felt like I had to. TMI . I kept telling myself I wouldn't finish it, but felt like I had to.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Tina Panik

    I've just learned a bunch of things I didn't know I didn't know about a world I may not be eligible to understand until I've been married for 14 years. I've just learned a bunch of things I didn't know I didn't know about a world I may not be eligible to understand until I've been married for 14 years.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Mary Lou

    Really liked this book in spite of the risqué subject matter. Gives a glimpse into an alternative lifestyle without employing sensationalism. Would give 3 1/2 stars if I could.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Robyn

    Interesting but her writing is too repetitive.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Lindsey Congalosi

  28. 4 out of 5

    JR

  29. 5 out of 5

    Brandy McNeil

  30. 5 out of 5

    Frances Ellen

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